Susan,
I doubt there's much more I can say other than what everyone else has
said to you so eloquently except that my heart goes out to you right now
and I pray for you daily. Please hang in there. Please don't be so
hard on yourself. This is such a difficult time for you and you have
every right to feel sad, angry, frustrated, etc...but don't add to those
feelings by blaming yourself for being human and having human emotions.
This IS the place to express them, too, so feel o.k. with doing just
that. You need to talk about how you're feeling to help release some of
this pain you're experiencing. I hope you are also talking to close
friends and whoever is prescribing your medication. This is exactly
what will help you get through this.
You have shown yourself here to be a very loving and supportive wife, so
try not to undermine your self-esteem by condemning yourself for any
negative thoughts or reactions you have. It's impossible to be Florence
Nightingale 24-hours-a-day every day of the week! You are so fortunate
to have this forum to discuss your feelings and garner support. And we
are so fortunate to have you. When you start feeling down on yourself,
remind yourself of all of the wonderful support you've given to people
on this board, as well as to your husband. Oh how hard it must be to
try to take care of yourself while caring for someone else who is
seriously ill. Just remember - you are doing the best that you can at
this time. And he will love you for that, as we do.
Love,
Jean
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