Dear Cindy: Pls. I hope you will understand where your husband is comming
from~FEAR.......The first time I had cancer I just completely shut my
husband out. Sure we talked; but not about cancer. He took it long enough
and all of sudden I was sitting next to him at a counselors office. He told
the counselor that we always had shared everything and now all of sudden I
was withdrawn and not speaking from the heart. Well, ofcourse when the
counselor asked me "is this so?" I had to reply "yes". The counselor asked
me "why" and I screamed I am afraid I am going to die and I really don't
think he (my husband) wants to hear that". I was brought to my feet knowing
I had created a terrible injustice to my husband by shutting him out. The
next time I had cancer he knew how I felt ever minute of the day. Does this
help you understand? I pray it will, your husband is just not himself right
now and along this road so so much happens; but believe me good things
happen too. My husband and I are so close, this happen 25 year's ago and
look I am still alive! I have been shown the beauty of life, a way to walk
the path to happiness; what more could anyone ask for? Let us know if you
went; you may need to just tell him Hey, I am your wife, I love you and I'm
going. Yes, the words stung; but I don't believe he meant to hurt you.
Your friend, Lillian
-----Original Message-----
From: Cindy Crowe <ccrowe@msn.com>
To: Medical On Line Forum <mol-cancer@lists.meds.com>
Date: Sunday, March 08, 1998 7:03 PM
Subject: [MOL] Just venting
>I've found myself extremely upset over something and, being the emotional
>type person I am, I decided to through it out to my experts (and I feel
that
>you are my friends, also) to see if I am being unreasonable or if I have
>just cause for having hurt feelings.
>
>As most of you know, my husband, Jim, has lung cancer. He has gone through
>16 times of radiation and 3 sessions of chemo (3days in a row, 3 weeks
>apart). I have been with him every step of the way, trying to be
supportive
>even on things I don't feel I should have to be.
>
>Jim had his first CT scan last Wed. to see what difference(s) there are in
>his tumors between when he was first diagnosed and where we are now
>(medically).
>
>I was all excited (and scared) to go with him to see his oncologist on
>Monday to see what she had to say about any changes (good or bad) that
might
>be showing up on his scan and his constant lab work.
>
>All of a sudden, he has decided that he doesn't want me to go and I feel as
>though he has just shut me out (yes, I am feeling sorry for myself). I
have
>seen him through everything he has had to endure since he was diagnosed.
>
>Has this happened to those of you that are caregivers and how did you feel?
>Am I just being a blubbering idiot?
>
>Do those of you who have cancer feel ever not want your significant others
>to share things like this with them and to keep your privacy between your
>dr. and you private?
>
>I don't know if I am blowing this out of proportion and would like your
>inputs. Please feel free to be blunt as that is what I am asking of you.
>
>
>Cindy Crowe
>ccrowe@msn.com
>
>
>
>
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