Dear Cindy,
John has a tendency to see the humility in many of us. I am, as you are,
very humble in the realization that this is a man that we can be proud
of to be called a man, when in this day and age, it may be difficult to
find heroes in men and the values that we are not able to respond to (no
political gestures or overtones here) positively and favorably. John has
the capacity as a husband, Father, and friend and Brother, to see the
beauty and love in all of us and his greatest virtue is to make us
realize that we have the same capabilities to give back to be a domino
effect to provide compassion and love and see the grace of a good God,
and then to touch our heart, as he has yours and mine. The end result
that John bestows upon us.....is a healing effect. John is one of our
other spokes to wellness. I say this with all the humility and
thankfulness that he has provided to all of us. Thank you John and thank
you Cindy for your message about him. I share the same sentiments.
God Bless
marty auslander
Cindy Crowe wrote:
>
> John,
>
> How you humble me and make me realize that I need to appreciate what life
> has given me. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Thank you for your
> beautiful insight.
>
> Cindy
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: lehnerj1@ix.netcom.com <lehnerj1@ix.netcom.com>
> To: mol-cancer@lists.meds.com <mol-cancer@lists.meds.com>
> Date: Monday, March 02, 1998 7:20 PM
> Subject: [MOL] Re What Started as a letter to Marty
>
> >lehnerj1@ix.netcom.com wrote:
> >>
> >> Dearest Marty and all my friends on MOL,
> >>
> >> I had an exceptionally complete neurological workup on Friday and also an
> >> interesting experience prior to the visit. As I was crossing the street,
> >> a car was heading for me without slowing up...a game of chicken common in
> >> the New York area. I suddenly realized that despite my mind sending
> >> messages to my legs to move faster...like run!...I still plodded along
> >> like some old work horse returning from the field. I missed getting hit
> >> by a NY inch and decided to add that to the list of things to discuss
> >> with the neurologist.
> >>
> >> He was very methodical in his evaluation and spent an hour and a half
> >> with me. The final diagnosis was that I evidently contracted a neuritis
> >> or nerve virus while my immune system was comprimised from the surgery.
> >> It did its damage and left me unable to raise my arm and with a
> >> degeneration in the knees. Seems one knee and thigh is about 3 cm
> >> smaller than the other. He did not do any further muscular tests as his
> >> evaluation of muscle tone was good in both the left and right sides.
> >> Looks like I'm looking at limited functioning due to pure nerve damage
> >> ...the nerve of that virus!
> >>
> >> At least I have some idea as to what may have happened and why the
> >> doctors, from the oncologist to the radiologist, were unwilling to commit
> >> to a reasonable answer. They don't say if they don't know for a fact...
> >> something we mear mortals don't understand. So, for now, the twins will
> >> have to be satisfied with flying through the air at the level of my
> >> waist. Any higher will require a pilot license and a flying machine. I
> >> will have to start raking the leaves around July and my days of
> >> sheetrocking cealings are over...in fact I better kiss most renovation
> >> projects goodby. Geeee...how lucky can a guy get?!
> >>
> >> Seriously, I will try do do what I can and I'm not exactly thrilled at
> >> the limits being imposed on my physical body right now, but I am very
> >> greatful to be alive and a part of my children's growing years. I guess,
> >> in a way, its only early onset of what old age has in store for me
> >> anyway. I'll continue to pray and work at building my strength and doing
> >> what I can do with a focus and an understanding that it is all for a
> >> reason. Actually the only thing I wish to add to the discussion about
> >> God is...if you want to make Him laugh, tell Him what your plans are.
> >> How arogant and egotistical to think that we mortals, who by very
> >> definition, face death every second, have the capacity or the right to
> >> understand the ways of the creator. When one of us is capable of
> >> creating life from nothing and raising people from the dead, then I'll
> >> reserve the right to want understanding of "the master plan" and the
> >> reasons for all things. In the meantime, I guess we'll have to be
> >> satisfied with history and faith. Ain't mortality fun!
> >>
> >> I thank God every day upon opening my eyes (they are rather tired about
> >> now) and ask that he guide my steps to do His work and to confront with
> >> dignity everything that crosses my path. I guesws this is prayer...that
> >> is having a conversation with God. Some days I feel His presence and
> >> some days I don't. Dosn't mean He's not with me, just working in
> >> different ways (probably carrying me!). It has only been this way for me
> >> since my cancer. If that's the price I had to pay to wake up and let God
> >> back into my life, I got a bargin!
> >>
> >> Well, that's about it from this old philosopher...it really was one of my
> >> majors in college. Some may advise me to demand a refund but I'll say
> >> this, I've never been happier with God and myself as I have been this
> >> past year. God Bless You My Brother and All my MOL friends! These
> >> discussions are great and raise our conscious levels to a new height. We
> >> may even propell Ron right out of his tranquil state. Lisa, thank you
> >> for puting it on the tabel and never forget that Thomas was one of
> >> Christ's most loved apostles even though...or maybe because...he doubted
> >> so much. Gwen, I was very moved by the depth and strength of your
> >> personal faith. Lillian, your path is Christ's path when he said 'do
> >> unto other's as you would have them do unto you'. Sally, you took me
> >> back to my favorite Lebonese philosopher...think I'll reread the Prophet
> >> just one more time tonight! You are so right, we are not talking here of
> >> Religion (which a friend described as a bus we choose to board from many
> >> that are heading to God) but rather Spirituality, that is the living God
> >> within each of us and the universal truths that bind mankind together in
> >> the search for a relationship with his or her God. Maggie, you have
> >> discovered the miricle of today...treasure and enjoy it to the fullest!
> >> My dear Cindy, if and when that day ever comes, you will have many
> >> friends here on MOL to love support and show compassion. Many times the
> >> path to God is in service of others...as we are here. Charlie put it so
> >> correctly when he said that no one person is here to hurt another, we are
> >> all in this together, feeling the same things...its just that we are at
> >> different levels of experience and we have different ways to communicate
> >> that feeling (sorry for the paraphrase Charlie). And you, my dear friend
> >> and brother, Marty, who conveyed the contents of his heart with grace and
> >> dignity, I applaud your love for all the people on the site. If you were
> >> three times your present weight, Ron might believe you to be related to
> >> Buddha!
> >>
> >> God Bless You All.
> >> John
>
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