Re: [MOL] Linda, it's okay. [00915] Medicine On Line


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Re: [MOL] Linda, it's okay.



Linda, no cancer is good cancer!  Thanks for your message, I hope I was of
help.  Was very happy to hear your going to the March, I know your sister
will look down on you smiling.  I am also happy you are going to stay with
us to help all the wonderful cancering folks and their caregivers.  Bless
you.  Expierence speaks for itself and you will be very helpful.  There are
a few on line who are caregivers and are looking for answers just like the
rest of us. It is so difficult to be the one on the outside trying to help
the one on the inside.  I remember one friend who asked me so many damn
questions I had to tell her my computer shut down, my mind could only handle
a little at a time.  I had another friend who drove me to the doctors,
rarely opened her mouth, held my hand and let me talk and cry, and cry
somemore.  She was the one I wanted to be with most. Now you keep up the
good work and we are behind you while you recover over your deepest loss.
Your friend, Lillian
-----Original Message-----
From: Linda Epstein <EPSTEIN@faxon.com>
To: owner-mol-cancer@lists.meds.com <owner-mol-cancer@lists.meds.com>; MOL
<mol-cancer@lists.meds.com>
Date: Tuesday, January 20, 1998 11:20 AM
Subject: RE: [MOL] Linda, it's okay.


>Dear Lillian,
>
>You have read my mind.  Everything you mentioned I should do is exactly
what I
>am having a problem doing. Giving up control is a hard thing.  Acceptance
would
>feel so much better.  My mother also has breast
>cancer, but the "good" kind that is localized.  She is undergoing
radiation,
>and now we will focus on helping her. I hope that I can help someone else
going
>through the same experiences as all of you do on a daily basis.  But you're
>right - I can't help my sister any longer and it would feel so good to help
>someone else.  That's why my family has decided that we will participate in
the
>March, and that we're not going to give up on trying to get the gene
missile
>for the rest of the women on the waiting list. I guess it will help us live
>with my sister's loss if we try to do something about this disease.  It's
what
>she would do, being the brave and beautiful little person that she was.
>
>Thank you, all for allowing me to vent in this way. It's important to focus
on
>the successes and the survivors, and keep that positive message out there
that
>we can overcome.  I don't want to take away from that, especially since my
>sister's story is about survival and not giving up and cherishing every day
>that we are alive to feel joy and love. But right now, it helps to cry a
little
>bit and hear an answer from people who understand.
>
>Bless you all,
>Linda
>Dear Linda:  It's okay to feel sorry for yourself, you had a big loss and
>eventually you will find your strength through your tear's.  I hope you
will
>stay on line, you could be so valuable  to other caretakers who need to
draw
>on someone elses strength because you've been there, you know what works
and
>what doesn't work.  Most of all have no regrets, it was simply time for
your
>sister and you had no control over that.  There are no what if's.  My
mother
>and her sister both died in my arms, it hurt so much; but I knew they died
>the way they wanted too, it was my greatest gift to them and yes even after
>all these year's it hurts.  My mother was my best friend and if I can be
>only half as good as she was, then I will make it on th road of life.  We
>are all here for you Linda, and by your helping other's who are in the same
>situation you will heal faster.  Hope work goes okay for you too.
>Your friend Lillian
>
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