RE: [MOL] Linda, it's okay. [00910] Medicine On Line


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RE: [MOL] Linda, it's okay.



Dear Lillian,

You have read my mind.  Everything you mentioned I should do is exactly what I
am having a problem doing. Giving up control is a hard thing.  Acceptance would
feel so much better.  My mother also has breast 
cancer, but the "good" kind that is localized.  She is undergoing radiation, 
and now we will focus on helping her. I hope that I can help someone else going
through the same experiences as all of you do on a daily basis.  But you're
right - I can't help my sister any longer and it would feel so good to help
someone else.  That's why my family has decided that we will participate in the
March, and that we're not going to give up on trying to get the gene missile
for the rest of the women on the waiting list. I guess it will help us live
with my sister's loss if we try to do something about this disease.  It's what
she would do, being the brave and beautiful little person that she was.

Thank you, all for allowing me to vent in this way. It's important to focus on
the successes and the survivors, and keep that positive message out there that
we can overcome.  I don't want to take away from that, especially since my
sister's story is about survival and not giving up and cherishing every day
that we are alive to feel joy and love. But right now, it helps to cry a little
bit and hear an answer from people who understand.

Bless you all,
Linda
Dear Linda:  It's okay to feel sorry for yourself, you had a big loss and
eventually you will find your strength through your tear's.  I hope you will
stay on line, you could be so valuable  to other caretakers who need to draw
on someone elses strength because you've been there, you know what works and
what doesn't work.  Most of all have no regrets, it was simply time for your
sister and you had no control over that.  There are no what if's.  My mother
and her sister both died in my arms, it hurt so much; but I knew they died
the way they wanted too, it was my greatest gift to them and yes even after
all these year's it hurts.  My mother was my best friend and if I can be
only half as good as she was, then I will make it on th road of life.  We
are all here for you Linda, and by your helping other's who are in the same
situation you will heal faster.  Hope work goes okay for you too.
Your friend Lillian

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