Dear Linda:
I just read your inspiring message, I could feel your pain for your sister
and all that I have to offer you is my prayers. I hope that you are taking
time out for yourself in order for you to keep strong. I truly believe as a
cancer survivor that it is sometimes more difficult for those near and dear
to us. Knowing they want to change what has happened to us; yet the power
to do so is not in their hands.
When I was very ill, on deaths door, I slept alot. It seriously concerned
all those around me; but I was fighting life with every ounce of strength I
had in my sleep. I had to tell this to my doctor and to my husband, not to
worry about my sleeping, it was giving me the strength to fight.
It is difficult not to coddle the patient; but just the touch, the wiping of
a browl, the gentle rubbing of a hand or back does wonders for the patient.
Sometimes even more than talk does. It lets them know your there and that
you do not expect anything in return, because during the bad times a patient
has nothing to return and they know this. Have I given you any insight? I
pray I have, because you need the prayers and support as much as your dear
sister. Lillian
-----Original Message-----
From: Linda Epstein <EPSTEIN@faxon.com>
To: mol-cancer@lists.meds.com <mol-cancer@lists.meds.com>
Date: Friday, January 02, 1998 2:38 PM
>I don't have anything to give right now, other than gratitude. I feel
selfish
>because I have used all of you to gain knowledge and perspective about what
my
>sister is going through with her cancer. But I've given relatively little
back
>in return. I hope that one day soon I'll be stronger. Right now, I don't
seem
>to have any words.
>
>There are so many valleys and peaks. Today is a day in the valley. But we
>never lose the hope that tomorrow my sister will wake up feeling better and
be
>able to spend more time with her children and husband. Or that one good
day
>will turn into several, and she will then be eligible for a clinical trial.
Or
>that someone will have an idea about something that will lift her spirits,
>increase her strength or relieve her pain.
>
>My sister holds onto life with both hands. While she is holding on, we have
to
>support her and help her believe that she can survive. Sometimes,
particularly
>when she is "out of it," it's difficult to help her emotionally. At these
>times, we can only help her physically with our presence and our touch.
Today
>she is in a semi-comatose state and wants only to sleep. The
accupuncturist is
>working to help rid her body of toxins and relieve some of her pain. The
>holistic doctor is now visiting to see if she should include different
herbs in
>her tea. We will take it an hour at a time.
>
>As an aside, if there is anyone from Massachusettes looking for an
outstanding
>herbalist, please let me know. We found this woman accidentally. She was
an
>oncologist in China and moved here 1 year ago. She is also trained in
Chinese
>herbal medicine. I think she must also be an angel. She came to my
sister's
>house on Christmas Day and spent 2 hours with her although she was having a
>party at her house. When we tried to compensate her for her time she
refused
>to take any more than her 1 hour fee, which is $35.00. She also helps my
sister
>spiritually, and after she leaves the room my sister's voice is a little
>stronger and happier.
>
>I'm not sure what the message is here - I just needed to ramble a bit and
to
>express that in my darkest moments, it is sometimes the words of people on
>this list that have kept me believing and hoping, and this in turn gives me
the
>strength to help my sister.
>
>
>Thank you again for the blessings which you bestow!
>Linda
>
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