I don't have anything to give right now, other than gratitude. I feel selfish
because I have used all of you to gain knowledge and perspective about what my
sister is going through with her cancer. But I've given relatively little back
in return. I hope that one day soon I'll be stronger. Right now, I don't seem
to have any words.
There are so many valleys and peaks. Today is a day in the valley. But we
never lose the hope that tomorrow my sister will wake up feeling better and be
able to spend more time with her children and husband. Or that one good day
will turn into several, and she will then be eligible for a clinical trial. Or
that someone will have an idea about something that will lift her spirits,
increase her strength or relieve her pain.
My sister holds onto life with both hands. While she is holding on, we have to
support her and help her believe that she can survive. Sometimes, particularly
when she is "out of it," it's difficult to help her emotionally. At these
times, we can only help her physically with our presence and our touch. Today
she is in a semi-comatose state and wants only to sleep. The accupuncturist is
working to help rid her body of toxins and relieve some of her pain. The
holistic doctor is now visiting to see if she should include different herbs in
her tea. We will take it an hour at a time.
As an aside, if there is anyone from Massachusettes looking for an outstanding
herbalist, please let me know. We found this woman accidentally. She was an
oncologist in China and moved here 1 year ago. She is also trained in Chinese
herbal medicine. I think she must also be an angel. She came to my sister's
house on Christmas Day and spent 2 hours with her although she was having a
party at her house. When we tried to compensate her for her time she refused
to take any more than her 1 hour fee, which is $35.00. She also helps my sister
spiritually, and after she leaves the room my sister's voice is a little
stronger and happier.
I'm not sure what the message is here - I just needed to ramble a bit and to
express that in my darkest moments, it is sometimes the words of people on
this list that have kept me believing and hoping, and this in turn gives me the
strength to help my sister.
Thank you again for the blessings which you bestow!
Linda
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