Re: [MOL] Martha Stewart Joke [02620] Medicine On Line


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Re: [MOL] Martha Stewart Joke



I would think all of us know that money doesn't make one happy.  I thought
that journeyer's knew the secret of happiness, don't we?  In fact with
money, one must worry who their friends are (we know our friends), they
must worry about who is going to take their money (we don't have anything
to take); etc.  LOL!  Loved your post Martha, you have a flare to dare! 
your friend, patter lillian  LOL!

----------
> From: Martha S Cerreto <MJTCERRETO@prodigy.net>
> To: mol-cancer@lists.meds.com
> Cc: mjtcerreto@prodigy.net
> Subject: Re: [MOL] Martha Stewart Joke
> Date: Sunday, December 27, 1998 5:45 PM
> 
> Wesport, Ct., where she has one of her houses, is far away from me
> financially, but by miles only a little over 30.  Not to talk tabloid on
> the list, but the one thing she's supposedly trying to show everyone how
to
> do, i.e., have a nicer and thereby happier home is the one thing they say
> she hasn't had, at least as far as the happier part.  What was it, her
> husband supposedly ran off with her secretary and one of her kids didn't
> want to talk to her.  I don't know how things are lately; she hasn't
called
> and let me know.
> 
> But just as I cannot but admire the style with which she does things and
> the "empire" she has built, neither am I fooled that underneath her smile
> is a hard bitten, obsessive business woman.  Does all that money make her
> happy?  I don't know; She never sent me any, even though we do have the
> same first name.  By the way, as long as I am gossiping, they say that
Jane
> Fonda and her rich hubby are going to a marriage counselor, so maybe it
> takes something more than money.
> 
> Love to all,
> 
> martha cerreto	 
> 
> ----------
> > From: Elizabeth Patterson <eapat@ewa.net>
> > To: mol-cancer@lists.meds.com
> > Subject: Re: [MOL] Martha Stewart Joke
> > Date: Monday, December 28, 1998 2:41 AM
> > 
> > Now Jeanne,
> > Martha is okay, but I do think the average woman doesn't have time or
the
> > money to do the things she suggests. Did you hear her Christmas
> centerpiece
> > bit. She suggested using amarylis as cut flowers and placing several of
> > them in floating vases up and down the table. The way she described it
> the
> > blooms alone would be at least $50.00. I'm afraid I don't have $50 to
> spend
> > on the centerpiece for Christmas dinner. I hear her radio minute every
> > morning on the way to work and I will admit I have learned some things
> from
> > her. I just think she spreads a lot of guilt among women who can't be
> super
> > women. Of course most of us don't have a research staff to provide us
> with
> > the information.
> > Liz
> > 
> > >Well, I won't kiss her ass but I do like eating the results of her
> recipes
> > >even though I have only one set of dishes. Never bothers me that she
has
> > >all this stuff. I say less is more because I'm the one who has to
clean
> it.
> > >Glad she has it made it big, Whoopee to womankind. Go pick on a MAN,
> LOL,
> > >Love, Jeanne
> > >
> > >
> > >Hope my daughter never gets tired of her. At 09:19 AM 12/26/98 -0700,
> you
> > >wrote:
> > >>Thank you, Liz!!!!  You made my day -- she's such a pain!  Love,
Kathy
> > >>-----Original Message-----
> > >>From: Elizabeth Patterson <eapat@ewa.net>
> > >>To: mol-cancer@lists.meds.com <mol-cancer@lists.meds.com>
> > >>Date: Friday, December 25, 1998 10:38 PM
> > >>Subject: [MOL] Martha Stewart Joke
> > >>
> > >>
> > >>>Hi molers,
> > >>>I just got the following on another list. I thought you all might
> enjoy it.
> > >>>Liz
> > >>>
> > >>>There was no credit for this.
> > >>>
> > >>>Dear Santa,
> > >>>
> > >>>I rarely ask for much. This year is no exception. I don't need
diamond
> > >>>earrings, handy slicer-dicers or comfy slippers. I only one one
little
> > >>>thing, and I want it deeply.
> > >>>
> > >>>I want to slap Martha Stewart.
> > >>>
> > >>>Now, hear me out, Santa. I won't scar her or draw blood or anything.
> > >>>Just one good smack, right across her smug little cheek.
> > >>>
> > >>>I get all cozy inside just thinking about it.
> > >>>
> > >>>Don't grant this wish just for me. do it for thousands of women
across
> > >>>the country.
> > >>>
> > >>>Through sheer vicarious satisfaction, you'll be giving a gift to us
> all.
> > >>>
> > >>>Those of us leading average, garden variety lives aren't concerned
> with
> > >>>gracious living.
> > >>>
> > >>>We feel pretty good about ourselves if our paper plates match when
we
> > >>>stack them on the counter, buffet-style for dinner.
> > >>>
> > >>>We're tired of Martha showing us how to make centerpieces from
> hollyhock
> > >>>dipped in 18 carat gold. We're plumb out of liquid gold. Unless it's
> of
> > >>>the furniture polish variety.
> > >>>
> > >>>We can't whip up Martha's creamy holiday sauce, spiced with
turmeric.
> > >>>Most of us can't even say turmeric, let alone figure out what to do
> with
> > >>it.
> > >>>
> > >>>OK, Santa, maybe you think I'm being a little harsh. But I'll bet
with
> > >>>all  the holiday rush you didn't catch that interview with Martha in
> last
> > >>>week's USA Weekend.
> > >>>
> > >>>I'm surprised there was enough room on the page for her ego.
> > >>>
> > >>>We discovered that not only does Martha avoid take-out pizza (she's
> only
> > >>>ordered it once), she refuses to eat it cold (No cold pizza? Is
Martha
> > >>>Stewart Living?) When it was pointed out that she could microwave
it,
> > >>>she replied, "I don't have a microwave." The reporter, Jeffrey
Zaslow,
> > >>noted
> > >>>that she said this "in a tone that suggests you shouldn't either."
> > >>>
> > >>>Well lah-dee-dah.
> > >>>
> > >>>Imagine that, Santa. That lovely microwave you brought me years ago,
> in
> > >>>which I've learned to make complicated dishes like popcorn and hot
> > >>>chocolate, has been declared undesirable by Queen Martha.
> > >>>
> > >>>What next? The coffee maker?
> > >>>
> > >>>In the article, we learned that Martha has 40 sets of dishes
adorning
> an
> > >>>entire wall in her home. Forty sets. Can you spell "overkill"? And
> > >>>neatly put way, no less. If my dishes make it to the dishwasher,
that
> > >>>qualifies
> > >>>as "put away" in my house.
> > >>>
> > >>>Martha tells us she's already making homemade holiday gifts for
> friends.
> > >>>"Last year, I made amazing silk-lined scarves for everyone," she
> boasts.
> > >>>Not just scarves, mind you. Amazing scarves. Martha's obviously not
> shy
> > >>>about giving herself a little pat on the back. In fact, she does so
> with
> > >>such
> > >>>frequency that one has to wonder if her back is black and blue.
> > >>>
> > >>>She goes on to tell us that "homemaking is glamour for the 90s" and
> says
> > >>>her most glamorous friends are "interested in stain removal, how to
> iron
> > >>>a monogram, how to fold a towel."
> > >>>
> > >>>I have one piece of advice, Martha: get new friends.
> > >>>
> > >>>Glamorous friends fly to Paris on a whim. They drift past the Greek
> > >>>Islands on yachts, sipping champagne from crystal goblets. They step
> out
> > >>>for the evening in shimmering satin gowns, whisked away by tuxedoed
> > >>>chauffeurs. They do not spend their days pondering the finer art of
> toilet
> > >>>bowel
> > >>>sanitation.
> > >>>
> > >>>Zaslow notes that Martha was named one of America's 25 most
> influential
> > >>>people by Time magazine (nosing out Mother Thersa, Madeline
Allbright
> > >>>and Maya Angelou, no doubt) The proof of Martha's influence: after
she
> > >>>bought white-fleshed peaches in the supermarket, Martha says,
"People
> saw
> > >>>me buy them. In an instant, they were all gone."
> > >>>
> > >>>I hope Martha never decides to jump off a bridge.
> > >>>
> > >>>A guest in Martha's home told Zaslow how Martha gets up early to
> roller
> > >>>blade with her dogs to pick fresh wild blackberries for breakfast.
> > >>>
> > >>>This confirms what I've suspected about Martha all along: She's
> > >>>obviously got too much time on her hands. Teaching the dogs to
roller
> > >>>blade. What a show off.
> > >>>
> > >>>If you think the dogs are spoiled, listen to how Martha treats her
> > >>>friends: She gave one friend all 272 books from the Knopf Everyman
> Library.
> > >>It
> > >>>didn't cost much. Pocket change, really. Just $5,000. But what price
> > >>>friendship, right?
> > >>>
> > >>>When asked if others should envy her, Martha replies, "Don't envy
me.
> > >>>I'm doing this because I'm a natural teacher. You shouldn't envy
> teachers.
> > >>>You should listen to them."
> > >>>
> > >>>Zaslow must have slit a seam in Martha's ego at this point, because
> once
> > >>>the hot air came hissing out, it couldn't be held back.  "Being an
> > >>>overachiever is nothing despicable. It is only admirable. Never
lower
> > >>>your standards," says Martha.
> > >>>
> > >>>And of her Web Page on the Internet, Martha declares herself an
> > >>>"important presence" as she graciously helps people organize their
> sad,
> > >>tacky
> > >>>little lives.
> > >>>
> > >>>There you have it, Santa. If there was ever someone who deserved a
> good
> > >>>smack, it's Martha Stewart.
> > >>>
> > >>>But I bet I won't get my gift this year.
> > >>>Shadow-
> > >>>
> > >>>
> >
>
>>>=========================================================================

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