I am very glad that you found a way to open the visit for discussion
Kathy... I think that all too often, people think that a person with cancer
doesn't want to discuss it, when in reality they do want to discuss it,
but, with someone who understands..
I know that no one in my family understood/understands to this day..
Initially my friends and family didn't want to discuss it and so they
wouldn't listen to me at all.. Then if I discussed it in front of them,
they cut me off with a very wonderful remark..like; why don't you just
forget about it and live your life.. yeah, thats what you need to do... just
go on as if it never happened... Yet, only healing that I found was through
talking about it.. The problem is that often those who are around you cannot
face it themselves and so they pass their problems on to you and you already
have enough...
You know, my husband came home almost every other day excited to tell me
that someone he talked to, had a friend or relative who had cancer and was
still living after 2, 5 or 10 years.. I would ask "what type of cancer" and
he would say what does that matter? Then I hurt even worse because I
realized that he couldn't/wouldn't listen to what I had been through enough
to be educated at all.. So all my talking was basically in vain... Now he
gets real excited to say.. they had lung cancer and I say "what type?", he
still doesn't get it..
So take someone like me.. I don't want to talk about it according to my
parents.. but that is because they don't want to talk about it... I don't
need to talk about it according to my husband, but that is because he
doesn't want to learn about it.. My friends want the old Carla back for the
most part and I can't give them someone that wasn't real anyway.. that was
part of the problem... I hadn't been myself for a long time...
Sorry for rattling on, but the "just" of this was to say that if you listen
to your inner spirit.. as you did.. you will find that there are people
behind doors, waiting for hearts such as yours... God Bless you and much
love, Carla
-----Original Message-----
From: jerry corrigan <justbear@email.msn.com>
To: mol-cancer@lists.meds.com <mol-cancer@lists.meds.com>
Date: Saturday, December 19, 1998 10:19 AM
Subject: Re: [MOL] Frank/Dee
>Good morning, Nanc: It's 25 degrees farenheit here, and we have snow on
the
>ground. Not much, but just enough to make the roads yucky. I don't think
>it's going to go away, either, because we're in for even colder weather in
>the next couple of days. This is our first spell of really winter-like
>weather, so we've been pretty lucky so far. It's not North Dakota here,
but
>it's not Florida, either! I met a lady last night while we were out with
>friends who is going through her second bout of cancer. Our friends asked
>us not to say anything about cancer when we met her, because she really
>doesn't like to talk about it, so neither of us said a word. Someone else
>did, though, and that opened the gates. She DID want to talk about it, and
>she NEEDED to! So, we did. People who haven't been through this sometimes
>don't understand our need to share. They do now, I think, and they're
still
>great friends. Have a good day, dear, and Frank, you have one, too. I'll
>say a little prayer for your daughter, too. You have had more than enough
>hardship. Love, Kathy
>-----Original Message-----
>From: NLPOST@AOL.COM <NLPOST@AOL.COM>
>To: mol-cancer@lists.meds.com <mol-cancer@lists.meds.com>
>Date: Friday, December 18, 1998 8:19 PM
>Subject: Re: [MOL] Frank/Dee
>
>
>>Hi Frank,
>>So sorry to hear that your daughter is having problems, I pray they will
>get
>>things turned around and working well for her, please keep us informed as
>to
>>how things are going for her, and of course for you too. I suppose you
>will
>>be sending your weather our way. Right now it is 10:20pm Friday Dec. 18th
>and
>>we have 56' above here. I would be happy to keep it that way. I wish you
>and
>>your family happy Holidays.
>>Later,
>>Nanc
>>
>>In a message dated 12/18/98 1:22:35 PM Eastern Standard Time, fmc@ndak.net
>>writes:
>>
>><< Subj: Re: [MOL] Frank/Dee
>> Date: 12/18/98 1:22:35 PM Eastern Standard Time
>> From: fmc@ndak.net (Frank Cromie)
>> Sender: owner-mol-cancer@lists.meds.com
>> Reply-to: mol-cancer@lists.meds.com
>> To: mol-cancer@lists.meds.com
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> Dee,thanks for the letter.We thought for sure that our daughter had
kidney
>> cancer.She had a Cat-Scan and it picked up no tumor,but there is a lot of
>> damage to that one kidney.The left kidney is greatly enlarged for working
>> over time.They sent all her records to a urologlist.He will study them
and
>> get back to us.You just have yourself a real MERRY CHRISTMAS,enjoy
>yourself
>> and we,ll see you when you get back.Right now it is 5 degrees outside
with
>> blowing snow.Sunday the HIGH temperature is going to be 10 below zero.So
>> think of me up here freezing.Love You.Frank
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: Dee Williams <dee@gibralter.net>
>> To: mol-cancer@lists.meds.com <mol-cancer@lists.meds.com>
>> Date: Friday, December 18, 1998 12:00 AM
>> Subject: [MOL] Frank/Dee
>>
>>
>> >Dearest Frank,
>> >
>> >Hope that this finds you ready for the holidays...
>> >I am still wrapping presents and we
>> >leave at 9:30 tomorrow for Oklahoma - it's almost
>> >1AM - UGH - at least I can sleep
>> >on the plane :)
>> >
>> >I want to wish you, your wife, and Hope a very
>> >Blessed Christmas and the best
>> >New Year ever. May you be healthy, happy, and
>> >prosperous in 1998!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>> >
>> >I will write to you when I return or shortly after
>> >Christmas - eat some jelly
>> >beans for me and keep warm... Thanks for the
>> >lovely message and I will tell
>> >my dad that you are thinking and praying for him.
>> >
>> >Have a super Holiday,
>> >Love, Hugs, and Prayers
>> >Dee
>> >ps- hope that you are feeling good
>> >!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>>
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