Re: [MOL] Diet for PJ (hee-hee!) [03478] Medicine On Line


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Re: [MOL] Diet for PJ (hee-hee!)



My Dearest Joicy and PJ and Frank and all,

I guess I am the bad guy in all this, but pls bear one thing in mind and
I am saying this with ton

Becker, Joicy wrote:
> 
> Hi, PJ! Now this diet isn't for everyone, and Marty probably won't approve,
> but it does sound promising, eh? LOL! (Hey, I'm just trying to keep a way
> that bad mood!) Love ya, joicy
> 
> ps
> About the "Juicy" thing -- I haven't been taunted with that one since second
> grade! I might of know it would come up with this group!! LOL!
> 
> ---------------------
> 
> FACT: A lite beer has between 70 and 100 calories, is almost all water,
> and the part that isn't water is almost pure carbohydrates.
>        FACT: The average diet recommends a daily caloric intake of 1,200
> calories
> for women, 1,500 for men, if you want to lose the medically safe two to
> three
> pounds a week. On the "Beer-Me" diet, that equates to at least 12 beverages
> a
> day for women, and 15 for men.  A measurable goal.
>        FACT: The alcohol in beer is a diuretic, which causes the water to
> flush
> out
> almost immediately, leading to a consistent workout regimen including deep
> knee
> 
> bends (getting out of the chair), fast walking (getting to the bathroom) and
> squats (as the case may be).
>        FACT: Drinking beer actually helps you sleep-even when you aren't
> necessarily
> tired.  All that added rest is certain to help any problems you may have
> experienced in sleep deprivation, counting calories on those other fad
> diets.
> In  addition, you may experience the occasional  "How did I get here?" when
> you
> 
> wake up, which always makes for lively conversation, and possibly additional
> exercise if you have to sneak out and run home.
>        FACT: The "Beer-Me" diet is good for your heart.  After just one day
> of
> consuming your required 12-15 beers, you will certainly want to consume some
> aspirin, which is medically proven to help prevent heart attacks.
>        FACT: On the "Beer-Me" diet you can eat anything you want. The only
> rule
> is
> that you cannot consume any food until you have consumed at least half of
> the
> day's required beers. This way the food will probably only stay in your
> body a
> short time, until you again exercise the deep knee bends, quick walk and,
> this
> time, the "lean-over-and-hurl" stomach crunches.
>        FACT: Beer drinking is often done in bars, where other forms of
> exercise
> are
> common.  Dancing, for example, is a good way to build up a thirst, as is
> chasing members of the opposite sex. If you really want to maximize your
> workout, try actually walking up to the bar, versus using a waitress.  To
> take
> this to the extreme, you could even get up and get someone else a
> beer-perhaps
> someone who is newer to the diet plan than yourself.
>        FACT: Beer is cheaper than Jenny Craig.  Based on these facts, let's
> run
> through a given scenario for diet implementation.
> 
> CAUTION: This is a weekend diet plan, and should be attempted during the
> work
> week by only the staunchest of dieters.
> 
>        MONDAY THROUGH THURSDAY: Eat junk food and basically be a slob.
>        FRIDAY: Feeling "huge," swing by the liquor store and stock up.  Go
> to
> favorite
> place of beer drinking and begin the consumption process (remember 12 for
> women,
> 15 for men).
>        SATURDAY (a.m.): Wake up (as required) and lounge around all day,
> feeling
> slightly smaller after expunging any food that you may have accidentally
> consumed (particularly if it involved beef jerky from 7-11). Take aspirin.
> Notice that you have absolutely no interest in food, anyway.
>        SATURDAY (p.m.): Restart cycle, noticing that your appetite has still
> not
> returned.  Perhaps only meet half of your consumption goal  due to an
> ongoing
> discussion with "the dog that bit you." This is a good thing, as only half-
> consumption means less than 1,000 calories for the day, and you still don't
> feel hungry.
>        SUNDAY (a.m.): Wake up for mandatory sports day. This is a very
> convenient diet
> during football season, but it can be successfully implemented year-round.
> There
> is some major professional sport being played every day of the year except
> the
> day before and the day after the Major League All-Star game (fact-look it
> up).
> 
> Consumption on this day should be paced to cover the entire day-you don't
> want
> to peak too soon.  Again you notice a lack of appetite, and are feeling
> thinner
> 
> all the time.  Don't forget the aspirin.
>        MONDAY:  Return to work, feeling thinner, well rested, and
> surprisingly
> mellow.
> Mark your log book, and begin preparation for the upcoming weekend.
> 
> Happy dieting!!!
> 
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