Dear Martha,
You are so wise. I love to read your post. As far as the family
helping out, his brothers are always ready to help, but his sisters
seem to be avoiding us. I think it in fear of facing the illness.
Anyway, we will see them all on thanksgiving and maybe then I can
stress to them how important it is to call and visit their brother,
and perhaps help out with a few things. We shall see!!
I am going for a physical Dec. 5th. Something I keep putting off.
I have been having a few scarey things happening to me lately that
I think a Dr. should check out. Extreme dizziness to the point
of vomiting, the whole room tilts comepletely on its side and
then back again!! Really wierd and really scarey!! Its probably
all stress realted I'm sure.
Angelo saw his Onc. today and he told us that Angelo is doing
rather well considering the strenght of radiation that he received.
He said that his fatigue is all a part of the treatment and that
he wants him to just rest and regain his strength for the next few
weeks and he will call and check on him at least once a week. Then
he will see him in a month and we will discuss what options are
left for him and which would be the best to consider.
Thankyou so much for your lovely post and go meditate my friend.
I would like to try Tia Chi, they offer classes at the Wellness
Center but I would have to rearrange my working hours to go. I
think that would be very relaxing. I have a orange belt in Ti Kwon
Do, but its been years since I have actucally practiced it. Maybe
now would be a good time. LOL!
Love to you,
Mary
>
> Dear Mary,
>
> It is a common failing of many women, these days, (I would certainly
> include myself), to try to be superwomen for our spouses and children. It
> is very important, I feel, that if someone needs a caregiver, and they are
> lucky enough to have a big family, that the family kind of have a planning
> session about who is going to do what. It could be things like someone
> coming over and staying with Angelo while you go to the beauty parlor, out
> to a movie with a friend or having someone do the grocery shopping twice a
> month.
>
> I have recently moved to the community where I live and am busy trying to
> finish my MA in Special ed. But there are a few things I've been able to
> find, a wonderful church, a nice cancer support center that offers lovely
> meditation classes, etc., for me. I haven't been to meditate often enough
> lately, but that's another story.
>
> Who really knows about these things; but I feel in my gut that the reason
> my cancer came back after 7 years is stress. I don't say that that's going
> to happen to you or that anything's going to happen to you, but after
> working in hospitals as a social worker for many years, the scenario of the
> hospitalized woman who had spent years taking care of an ailing spouse or
> parent was all too common.
>
> I can't say much about your experience of watching Angelo get weaker. I,
> very likely, don't possess the wisdom. I am watching this happen to my
> father now, but he is still taking care of himself and he's got 30+ years
> on Angelo, so it's not the same. But I do think that if everyone in the
> family is involved with helping take care of Angelo and noone is
> overstressed, it will be easier because everyone can feel good about
> helping, that what they are doing is life-affirming and offered from one
> loving soul to another. This more positive attitude will, I think, be
> picked up by Angelo, and likewise, lessen the burden he feels on his
> shoulders.
>
> With love and hugs,
>
> Martha
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