Dear Chris,
Your father may be very depressed. He may actually want to die in the midst of
that depression, hence his seeming illogical behavior. Just a thought.
Lewis Mehl-Madrona, MD, PhD
University of Pittsburgh Medical Center
CCR0417@aol.com wrote:
> Hi all,
> My name is Chris. I was referred to this group mailing by a friend, Kathy K.
> who I see writes quite often. She is an angel who has helped me considerably
> to work through the first stages of my Dad's cancer.
>
> He was diagnosed on Aug. 24th with non-small cell squamous cell carcinoma in
> the left lung. We later learned (during surgery because none of his doctors
> had throroughly examined his month old x-ray or took a fresh one) that there
> were also new smaller growths in the right lung and in some of the lower
> nodes. While my Dad was still under sedation, the surgeon removed the new
> growths instead of the extensive surgery we all had anticipated to remove part
> or all of his left lung. The growth in that lung was the size of a small plum
> and it located toward the bottom of his lung. We were still assured (at the
> time) that because the cancer was the slowest-growing type that he had an
> excellent chance of living 5-6 years with radiations and further surgery. The
> surgeon agreed at the time that radiation is more effective than chemo for
> non-small cell cancer. [Incidentally, we hadn't anticipated any of this
> before 2 weeks before this surgery, he'd had a bronchioscope and it revealed
> no cancer! But immediately after that, he lost his voice! Drs. say it has
> nothing to do with scope -- tumor presses on the nerve?????] My father awoke
> and was alone for TWO HOURS until someone could finally explain why his right
> side hurt instead of his left!!!! Before he had an explanation, his priest
> walked in at the same time we did to do "Annointing of the Sick" (to someone
> 75 yrs old - that's LAST RITES.) He must have been in absolute terror for
> more than 2 HOURS thinking that they had mistakenly removed his only good
> lung! Then the following day, his pain meds ran out and he had wait for
> SEVERAL HOURS until they brought him more.
>
> He then was scheduled for scans: bone, brain, and abdomen (at the wrong
> hospital, of course!) But thank God, they all came out clean.
>
> Now for some reason, they claim because the cancer spread (which we already
> knew on Sept 30) they are using only chemo and not radiation. My father is 75
> years old and radiation would be easier for him and it is extremely effective
> on his type of cancer - than chemo is. The opposite would be true for small-
> cell cancer! The Dr. admitted to my sister (on the phone) that the large
> tumor will grow and eventually attach itself to the ribs and walls of the
> lung...great! That's because chemo isn't EFFECTIVE!!!!
>
> To make matters worse, my father will not hear any of this or get a 2nd
> opinion. I gathered together all the prayers that came in to me from the
> various prayer groups I joined. I also printed out special prayers to the
> Saints (novenas) and added a letter of love and support from me. I dedicated
> all this work to my mother, who died at the age of 43 in 1974. He hasn't even
> looked at it!
>
> Well that's it folks! Gives you an idea who am I, what I'm about, and what's
> going on in my life. I am 46 years old. I live in Pa with my grown son, who I
> raised alone after my divorce when he was 4 yrs old. He is now in college (at
> 25 years old!) and living off the "fat of my land" -- i.e. I AM supporting
> him! I'm sure you can sense how angry and outraged I am, but believe it or
> not, I haven't lost my faith or my sense of humor. It's just that my father
> is the one who always taught me, "God helps those who help themselves." Well,
> how can I ask God for miracles when my father won't even get a 2nd opinion?
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