Re: [MOL] Survey [02482] Medicine On Line


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Re: [MOL] Survey



>This was actually posted very briefly on the McDonnell Douglas website
>by an employee there who obviously has a sense of humor. The
>company, of course,does not (have a sense of humor) - and made the
>web department take it down immediately:
>
>
>
>Registration Card
>
>Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. In order to
>protect your new investment, please take a few moments to fill out the
>warranty registration card below. Answering the survey questions is not
>required, but the information will help us to develop new products that
>best meet your needs and desires.
>
>1. [_] Mr. [_] Mrs. [_] Ms. [_] Miss [_] Lt. [_] Gen. [_]Comrade [_]
>Classified
>[_] Presidente [_] Other
>
>First Name: .....................................................
>Initial: ........
>Last Name: ......................................................
>Password: .............................. (max 8 char)
>Code Name: ......................................................
>Latitude-Longitude-Altitude: ........... ........... ..........
>
>
>2. Which model aircraft did you purchase?
>
>[_] F-14 Tomcat
>[_] F-15 Eagle
>[_] F-16 Falcon
>[_] F-117A Stealth
>[_] Classified
>
>3. Date of purchase (Year/Month/Day): 19....... / ....... /......
>
>4. Serial Number: ................................................
>
>5. Please check where this product was purchased:
>
>[_] Received as gift / aid package
>[_] Catalog showroom
>[_] Independent arms broker
>[_] Mail order
>[_] Discount store
>[_] Government surplus
>[_] Classified
>
>6. Please check how you became aware of the McDonnell Douglas
>product you have just purchased:
>
>[_] Heard loud noise, looked up
>[_] Store display
>[_] Espionage
>[_] Recommended by friend / relative / all
>[_] Political lobbying by manufacturer
>[_] Was attacked by one
>
>7. Please check the three (3) factors that most influenced your decision
>to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product:
>
>[_] Style / appearance
>[_] Speed / maneuverability
>[_] Price / value
>[_] Comfort / convenience
>[_] Kickback / bribe
>[_] Recommended by salesperson
>[_] McDonnell Douglas reputation
>[_] Advanced Weapons Systems
>[_] Backroom politics
>[_] Negative experience opposing one in combat
>
>8. Please check the location(s) where this product will be used:
>
>[_] North America
>[_] Iraq
>[_] Central / South America
>[_] Iraq
>[_] Aircraft carrier
>[_] Iraq
>[_] Europe
>[_] Iraq
>[_] Middle East (not Iraq)
>[_] Iraq
>[_] Africa
>[_] Iraq
>[_] Asia / Far East
>[_] Iraq
>[_] Misc. Third World countries
>[_] Iraq
>[_] Classified
>[_] Iraq
>
>
>9. Please check the products that you currently own or intend to
>purchase in the near future:
>
>[_] Color TV
>[_] VCR
>[_] ICBM
>[_] Killer Satellite
>[_] CD Player
>[_] Air-to-Air Missiles
>[_] Space Shuttle
>[_] Home Computer
>[_] Nuclear Weapon
>
>
>10. How would you describe yourself or your organization? (Check all
>that apply:)
>
>[_] Communist / Socialist
>[_] Terrorist
>[_] Crazed
>[_] Neutral
>[_] Democratic
>[_] Dictatorship
>[_] Corrupt
>[_] Primitive / Tribal
>
>
>11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?
>
>[_] Deficit spending
>[_] Cash
>[_] Suitcases of cocaine
>[_] Oil revenues
>[_] Personal check
>[_] Credit card
>[_] Ransom money
>[_] Traveler's check
>
>
>12. Your occupation:
>
>[_] Homemaker
>[_] Sales / marketing
>[_] Revolutionary
>[_] Clerical
>[_] Mercenary
>[_] Tyrant
>[_] Middle management
>[_] Eccentric billionaire
>[_] Defense Minister / General
>[_] Retired
>[_] Student
>
>
>13. To help us understand our customers' lifestyles, please indicate the
>interests and activities in which you and your spouse enjoy participating
>on a regular basis:
>
>[_] Golf
>[_] Boating / sailing
>[_] Sabotage
>[_] Running / jogging
>[_] Propaganda / misinformation
>[_] Destabilization / overthrow
>[_] Default on loans
>[_] Gardening
>[_] Crafts
>[_] Black market / smuggling
>[_] Collectibles / collections
>[_] Watching sports on TV
>[_] Wines
>[_] Interrogation / torture
>[_] Household pets
>[_] Crushing rebellions
>[_] Espionage / reconnaissance
>[_] Fashion clothing
>[_] Border disputes
>[_] Mutually Assured Destruction
>
>Thank you for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire. Your answers
>will be used in market studies that will help McDonnell Douglas serve you
>better in the future - as well as allowing you to receive mailings and
>special offers from other companies, governments, extremist groups,and
>mysterious consortia.
>
>As a bonus for responding to this survey, you will be registered to win a
>brand new F-117A in our Desert Thunder Sweepstakes!
>
>Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes? Please write to:
>
>McDONNELL DOUGLAS CORPORATION
>Marketing Department
>Military Aerospace Division
>P.O. Box 800, St. Louis, MO
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
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