Re: [MOL] joke for Les [02462] Medicine On Line


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Re: [MOL] joke for Les



I liked this one! 
Mam

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> From: Becker, Joicy <Joicy.Becker@PTSEM.EDU>
> To: 'MOLers' <mol-cancer@lists.meds.com>
> Subject: [MOL] joke for Les
> Date: Thursday, 29 October 1998 7:31
> 
> I KNOW this will get me in trouble, but can't resist! Love, Joicy
> 
> ----------------------
> Subject: If Men Ruled The World... 
> 
> If Men Ruled The World...
> ....Any fake phone number a girl gave you would
>       automatically forward your call to her real number.
> ....Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed
>       an acceptable response to "I love you."
> ....Hallmark would make
>       "Sorry, what was your name again?" cards.
> ....When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during
>       the game, she'd appear in a little box in the corner of the
>       screen during a time-out.
> ....Birth control would come in ale or lager.
> ....Each year, your raise would be pegged to the fortunes of the
>       NFL  team of your choice.
> ....The funniest guy in the office would get to be CEO.
> ...."Sorry I'm late, but I got really wasted last night" would be
>       an acceptable excuse for tardiness.
> ....At the end of the workday, a whistle would blow and you'd jump
>       out your window and slide down the tail of a brontosaurus and
>       right into your car like Fred Flintstone.
> ....It'd be considered harmless fun to gather 30 friends,
>       put on horned helmets, and go pillage a nearby town.
> ....Lifeguards could remove citizens from beaches for violating
>       the  "public ugliness" ordinance.
> ....Tanks would be far easier to rent.
> ....Garbage would take itself out.
> ....Instead of beer belly, you'd get "beer biceps."
> ....Instead of an expensive engagement ring, you could present
>       your wife-to-be with a giant foam hand that said, "You're #1!"
> ....Valentine's Day would be moved to February 29th so it would
>       only occur in leap years.
> ....On Groundhog Day, if you saw your shadow,
>       you'd get the day off  to go drinking.
> ....St. Patrick's Day, however, would remain exactly the same.
>       But it would be celebrated every month.
> ...."Cops" would be broadcast live, and you could phone in
>       advice to  the pursuing cops... Or to the crooks.
> ....Two words: Ally McNaked.
> ....Regis and Kathie Lee would be chained to a cement mixer
>       and  pushed off the Golden Gate Bridge for the most lucrative
>       pay-per-view event in world history.
> ....The only show opposite "Monday Night Football" would be
>       "Monday Night Football From A Different Camera Angle."
> ....It would be perfectly legal to steal a sports car, as long as you
>       returned it the following day with a full tank of gas.
> ....Every man would get four real "Get Out of Jail Free" cards per year.
> ....When a cop gave you a ticket, every smart-aleck answer
>       you responded with would actually reduce your fine. As in:
>         - Cop: "You know how fast you were going?"
>         - You: "All I know is, I was spilling my beer all over the
place."
>         - Cop: "Nice one. That's $10 off."
> ....Faucets would run "Hot," "Cold," and "100 proof."
> ....Daisy Duke shorts would never again go out of style.
> ....Telephones would automatically cut off after
>       30 seconds of  conversation.
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