[MOL] kathy, MOlers [01896] Medicine On Line

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[MOL] kathy, MOlers

Hi Kathy,

So glad you feel great today!  :)  That's such a good thing to hear!   Hope
every day keeps getting better!   

About what type of cancer I have, it's non-hodgkins lymphoma, burkitt's type.
Have been dx'd since last march I guess, sick since last november though
(seems like longer than a year..what a haul).  Anyway, haven't responded well
to chemo or radiation and found out yest. the tumor on my liver is larger and
the kidney tumor was confirmed malignant also, so pretty bummed out but not

I have a general question though/relationship issue..was wondering how you all
felt about this....   I have a close female friend, have been having a long-
distance relationship with her..she wants to be with me/visit and I'm having
panic attacks about her seeing me sick/like this.  She says my appearance
doesn't matter to her, but I'm so self conscious about my body, problems,
feeding tube, all that..  I keep pushing her away I guess, but I'm really
afraid of hurting her more if this relationship progresses.  I know I
shouldn't push people away, but I feel like I'm hurting her with every
conversation, every hospitalization..she cries almost every time we talk..  I
just feel like maybe she'd be a lot happier without me.  Also worry about how
she be if I die...  Just don't know how do cope with this..  any ideas?

thanks  greg
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