Dear all,
One of the nights that I was in the hospital with Lizabeth, it
seemed especially quiet and lonely and I wrote this...thought I would
share it with ya'll before I sign off for the weekend.
Michael called me this morning and said that they are letting
Lizabeth go home today. Last night when I was there she cried for 1 1/2
hours because she wanted to go home and be in her own bed and get some
rest...she is so frightened and is shutting down again, but we are NOT
going to let her go back to the sleeping and not eating again. We have
a slate of women lined up to check on her throughout the day and Mike
and I talked about his getting a computer and getting her hooked up to
the internet so she could be on this line...I know that all of you will
help her so much. Anyway...as usual, my prayer to each of you and I
trust that you will each find the peace that you are looking for. Talk
to all of you on Monday. Love, Sylvia-Lizabeth's friend.
A CAREGIVER'S THOUGHTS
As I sit here watching you,
My heart is full of pain,
Knowing I can't ease your hurt
Makes me feel small again.
If I could wave my magic wand
I'd make everything so much better
I'd fix you like you used to be
And free you from this tether
But I can only care for you
And pray for you every night
I can be there when you need me
But I can't make things right!
We have to trust in a higher power
To take care of things like these
We can fight and battle all we want
But only He can please.
Trusting Him to care for you
Is sometimes very hard to do
Letting go and giving in
Makes me feel I'm not a friend.
Makes me feel I'm not doing enough
To get you through this night
Makes me wish I could do something
Besides sit here where it's quiet.
Makes me want to yell and scream
And punish someone for this cancer.
Makes me feel so helpless and sad
And needful of an answer.
And as I sit here in your room
The curtain closed to the light
I know I'm doing all I can
To get you through this night
A caregiver's roll is not as hard
As the one you've been chosen to play
We have to push you or hold you or feed you,
And one of our jobs is to pray
We pray that you will find the strength
To fight this every day!
We pray you you will never give in to this
But will find the strength to say:
"I will do everything in my power,
To fight this thing in me...
I'll eat and I'll rest and I'll trust in Him,
Because one day I'll be free.
Written to Lizabeth, 10/11/98
Sylvia Lynn Boehme
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