Re: [MOL] STRAY CAT RULES [00978] Medicine On Line


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Re: [MOL] STRAY CAT RULES



Great rules. Too bad I didn't read them earlier. I wouldn't have two cats
now. LOL.
Christine

At 02:21 PM 12/10/98 -0400, you wrote:
>STRICT, UNBENDING RULES FOR DEALING WITH STRAY CATS
>
>    1. Stray cats will not be fed.
>
>    2. Stray cats will not be fed anything except dry cat food.
>
>    3. Stray cats will not be fed anything except dry cat food
>       moistened with a little milk.
>
>    4. Stray cats will not be fed anything except dry cat food
>       moistened with warm milk, yummy treats and leftover fish scraps.
>
>    5. Stray cats will not be encouraged to make this house their
>       permanent residence.
>
>    6. Stray cats will not be petted, played with or picked up and
>       cuddled unnecessarily.
>
>    7. Stray cats that are petted, played with, picked up and cuddled
>       will absolutely not be given a name.
>
>    8. Stray cats with or without a name will not be allowed inside the
>       house at any time.
>
>    9. Stray cats will not be allowed inside the house except at
>       certain times.
>
>    10. Stray cats will not be allowed inside the house except on days
>        ending in "y".
>
>    11. Stray cats allowed inside will not be permitted to jump up on
>        or sharpen their claws on the furniture.
>
>    12. Stray cats will not be permitted to jump up on, or sharpen
>        claws on the really good furniture.
>
>    13. Stray cats will be permitted on all furniture but must sharpen
>        claws on new $114.99 sisal-rope cat-scratching post with three
>        perches.
>
>    14. Stray cats will answer the call of nature outdoors in the sand.
>
>    15. Stray cats will answer the call of nature in the three-piece,
>        high-impact plastic tray filled with Fresh'n'Sweet kitty litter.
>
>    16. Stray cats will answer the call of nature in the hooded litter
>        pan with a three-panel privacy screen and plenty of head room.
>
>    17. Stray cats will sleep outside.
>
>    18. Stray cats will sleep in the garage.
>
>    19. Stray cats will sleep in the house.
>
>    20. Stray cats will sleep in a cardboard box lined with an old
>        blanket.
>
>    21. Stray cats will sleep in the special Kitty-Komfort-Bed with
>        non-allergenic lambs wool pillow.
>
>    22. Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed.
>
>    23. Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed, except at
>        the foot.
>
>    24. Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed under the
>        covers.
>
>    25. Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed under the
>        covers except at the foot.
>
>    26. Stray cats will not play on the desk.
>
>    27. Stray cats will not play on the desk near the computer.
>
>    28. Stray cats are forbidden to walk on the computer keyboard on
>        the desk when the human is asdfjjhhkl;ljfd.;oier' 		
>uyykmm4hbdm9lo9j  USING IT.
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