Great rules. Too bad I didn't read them earlier. I wouldn't have two cats
now. LOL.
Christine
At 02:21 PM 12/10/98 -0400, you wrote:
>STRICT, UNBENDING RULES FOR DEALING WITH STRAY CATS
>
> 1. Stray cats will not be fed.
>
> 2. Stray cats will not be fed anything except dry cat food.
>
> 3. Stray cats will not be fed anything except dry cat food
> moistened with a little milk.
>
> 4. Stray cats will not be fed anything except dry cat food
> moistened with warm milk, yummy treats and leftover fish scraps.
>
> 5. Stray cats will not be encouraged to make this house their
> permanent residence.
>
> 6. Stray cats will not be petted, played with or picked up and
> cuddled unnecessarily.
>
> 7. Stray cats that are petted, played with, picked up and cuddled
> will absolutely not be given a name.
>
> 8. Stray cats with or without a name will not be allowed inside the
> house at any time.
>
> 9. Stray cats will not be allowed inside the house except at
> certain times.
>
> 10. Stray cats will not be allowed inside the house except on days
> ending in "y".
>
> 11. Stray cats allowed inside will not be permitted to jump up on
> or sharpen their claws on the furniture.
>
> 12. Stray cats will not be permitted to jump up on, or sharpen
> claws on the really good furniture.
>
> 13. Stray cats will be permitted on all furniture but must sharpen
> claws on new $114.99 sisal-rope cat-scratching post with three
> perches.
>
> 14. Stray cats will answer the call of nature outdoors in the sand.
>
> 15. Stray cats will answer the call of nature in the three-piece,
> high-impact plastic tray filled with Fresh'n'Sweet kitty litter.
>
> 16. Stray cats will answer the call of nature in the hooded litter
> pan with a three-panel privacy screen and plenty of head room.
>
> 17. Stray cats will sleep outside.
>
> 18. Stray cats will sleep in the garage.
>
> 19. Stray cats will sleep in the house.
>
> 20. Stray cats will sleep in a cardboard box lined with an old
> blanket.
>
> 21. Stray cats will sleep in the special Kitty-Komfort-Bed with
> non-allergenic lambs wool pillow.
>
> 22. Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed.
>
> 23. Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed, except at
> the foot.
>
> 24. Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed under the
> covers.
>
> 25. Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed under the
> covers except at the foot.
>
> 26. Stray cats will not play on the desk.
>
> 27. Stray cats will not play on the desk near the computer.
>
> 28. Stray cats are forbidden to walk on the computer keyboard on
> the desk when the human is asdfjjhhkl;ljfd.;oier'
>uyykmm4hbdm9lo9j USING IT.
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