Hi John,
Your Darwin Awards were priceless.
Liz
>Greg, I came across these stories on the internet. Sometimes when I think
>I have problems it helps to read something that makes you realize you
>aren't alone! Now many of these people really had problems!! Mary Ann
>
>
>
>
>Darwin Awards
>
>>They have finally been released! For those not familiar with the Darwin
>>Award - It's an annual honor given to the person who did the universal
>>human gene pool the biggest service by getting killed in the most
>>extraordinarily stupid way. As always, competition this year has been keen
>>again. Some candidates appear to have trained their whole lives for this
>>event. The Darwin Awards Nominees:
>
>>1. In September in Detroit, a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two
>>feet of water after squeezing head first through an 18-inch wide sewer
>>grate to retrieve his car keys.
>
>>2. In October, a 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who "totally zoned
>>when he ran," according to his wife, accidentally jogged off a
>>200-foot-high cliff on his daily run.
>
>>3. Buxton, NC: A man died on a beach when an 8-foot deep hole he had dug
>>into the sand caved in as he sat inside it. Beachgoers said Daniel Jones,
>>21, dug the hole for fun, or protection from the wind, and had been
>>sitting in a beach chair at the bottom Thursday afternoon when it
>>collapsed, burying him beneath 5 feet of sand. People on the beach, on the
>>outer banks, used their hands and shovels, trying to claw their way to
>>Jones, a resident of Woodbridge, VA, but could not reach him. It took
>>rescue workers using heavy equipment almost an hour to free him while
>>about 200 people looked on. Jones was pronounced dead at a hospital.
>
>>4. In February, Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed in Lompoc, CA, as he
>>fell face-first through the ceiling of a bicycle shop he was burglarizing.
>>Death was caused when the long flashlight he had placed in his mouth (to
>>keep his hands free) rammed into the base of his skull as he hit the
>>floor.
>
>>5. According to police in Dahlonega, GA, ROTC cadet Nick Berrena, 20, was
>>stabbed to death in January by fellow cadet Jeffrey Hoffman, 23, who was
>>trying to prove that a knife could not penetrate the flak vest Berrena was
>>wearing.
>
>>6. Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed in February in Selbyville, Del.
>>as he won a bet with friends who said he would not put a revolver loaded
>>with four bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger.
>
>>7. In February, according to police in Windsor, Ont., Daniel Kolta, 27,
>>and Randy Taylor, 33, died in a head-on collision, thus earning a tie in
>>the game of chicken they were playing with their snowmobiles.
>
>>8. In September, a 7-year-old boy fell off a 100-foot-high bluff near
>>Ozark, Ark., after he lost his grip swinging on a cross that marked the
>>spot where another person had fallen to his death in 1990.
>
>>9. AUGUSTA, ME - Four people were injured in a string of bizarre
>>accidents. Sherry Moeller was admitted with a head wound caused by flying
>>masonry, Tim Vegas was diagnosed with a mild case of whiplash and
>>contusions on his chest, arms and face; Bryan Corcoran suffered torn gum
>>tissue, and Pamela Klesick's first two fingers of her right hand had been
>>bitten off.
>
>>Moeller had just dropped her husband off for his first day of work and, in
>>addition to a goodbye kiss, she flashed her breasts at him. "I'm still not
>>sure why I did it," she said later. "I was really close to the car, so I
>>didn't think anyone would see. Besides, it couldn't have been for more
>>than two seconds."
>
>>However, cab driver Vegas did see, and lost control of his cab, running
>>over the curb and into the corner of the Johnson Medical Building. Inside,
>>Klesick, a dental technician, was cleaning Corcoran's teeth. The crash of
>>the cab against the building made her jump, tearing Corcoran's gums with a
>>cleaning pick. In shock, he bit down, severing two fingers from Klesick's
>>hand. Moeller's wound was caused by a falling piece of the medical
>>building.
>
>>10. TAOS, NM - A woman went to a poison control center after eating three
>>birth-control vaginal inserts. Her English was so bad she had to draw a
>>picture describing how she believed she had poisoned herself. A translator
>>arrived shortly thereafter and confirmed doctor's suspicions. Marie
>>Valishnokov thought the inserts were some kind of candy or gum, being
>>unable to read the foil wrappers. After the third one, she realized
>>something was wrong when her throat and mouth began to fill with a
>>sour-tasting foam. She ran for the Poison Control Center, only a few
>>blocks away where doctors were able to flush the foam from her mouth,
>>throat, and stomach with no ill
>effects.
>
>>11. TACOMA, WA - Kerry Bingham, had been drinking with several friends
>>when one of them said they knew a person who had bungee-jumped from the
>>Tacoma Narrows Bridge in the middle of traffic.
>
>>The conversation grew more heated and at least 10 men trooped along the
>>walkway of the bridge at 4:30 a.m. Upon arrival at the midpoint of the
>>bridge they discovered that no one had brought a bungee rope. Bingham, who
>>had continued drinking, volunteered and pointed out that a coil of cable
>>had been left near the railing.
>
>>Bingham's leg and the other end was tied to the bridge. His fall lasted 40
>>feet before the cable tightened and tore his foot off at the ankle. He
>>miraculously survived his fall into the icy river water and was rescued by
>>two nearby fishermen. "All I can say," said Bingham, "is that God was
>>watching out for me on that night. There's just no other explanation for
>>it." Bingham's foot was never located.
>
>>12. On February 3, 1990, a Renton, Washington man tried to commit a
>>robbery. This was probably his first attempt, as suggested by the fact
>>that he had no previous record of violent crime, and by his terminally
>>stupid choices as listed below: (a) The target was H&J Leather & Firearms,
>>a gun shop; (b) The shop was full of customers, in a state where a
>>sub-stantial portion of the adult population is licensed to carry
>>concealed handguns in public places; (c) To enter the shop, he had to step
>>around a marked Police patrol car parked at the front door; (d) An officer
>>in uniform was standing next to the counter, having coffee before
>>reporting to duty.
>
>>Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber announced a holdup and fired
>>a few wild shots. The officer and a clerk promptly returned fire, removing
>>him from the gene pool. Several other customers also drew their guns, but
>>didn't fire. No one else was hurt.
>
>>13. In France, Jacques LeFevrier left nothing to chance when he decided to
>>commit suicide. He stood at the top of a tall cliff and tied a noose
>>around his neck. He tied the other end of the rope to a large rock. He
>>drank some poison and set fire to his clothes. He even tried to shoot
>>himself at the last moment. He jumped and fired the pistol.
>
>>The bullet missed him completely and cut through the rope above him. Free
>>of the threat of hanging, he plunged into the sea. The sudden dunking
>>extinguished the flames and made him vomit the poison. He was dragged out
>>of the water by a kind fisherman and was taken to a hospital, where he
>>died of hypothermia.
>
>
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