Hi Sherry,
I'm butting in here but I think you have to take steps to save your own
health and emotional well being.
It sounds to me as though your daughter and your husband are vying for your
attention. They are probably feeling that you are no longer focusing your
attention on them, since you are, no doubt, focusing more of your attention
on your son than you used to. Maybe it is time for a one on one chat with
each of them. Time to let them know you love each of them, but when your
child is sick, as a mother you need to be there for him. Being jealous of
your attention to Tim doesn't seem rational, but it really is normal. It
is hard to be denied the focus one is used to having, even if it is a
necessary thing.
I would bet they have not consciously thought about how their behavior is
affecting you. You need to let them know.
The problem won't go away by ignoring it. If you let them know what this
behavior is doing to you maybe they can get by their emotional reaction and
give you the support you need to continue the role you are playing. You
certainly don't need the hassle on top of 12 hour graveyard shifts and
Tim's illness.
Sorry if you think I am out of line, but you have to protect your own
health. No one else will do it for you.
Liz P.
>Hi everyone! I've just spent four hours trying to clear messages. It's
>hard to keep up as I work 12 hour graveyard shifts, have a new husband and a
>16 year old daughter who is more demanding than a 2 year old. And her and
>my husband (who used to like each other) seem like to angry teenagers most
>the time. After 12 years of being single I don't know what possesed me to
>remarry! Anyway even my mouse is tired of deleting and it's only 6 weeks
>old! but thank goodness I bought the computer. I get such joy being here
>and reading all the messages and information and I feel so grateful. As I
>listen to Conway Twitty & Randy Travis I cry and laugh and then throw in
>some Elvis for inspiration. It's a wonderful place to safely go and FEEL.
>Thank you all.
>
>As to the latest news. My son Tim met with the Bone Marrow Transplant team
>last week and they scared us all to death. He and his wife came home and
>called both of us mothers and said we would have to take over raising the
>kids for weeks, months, or more. Needless to say this put me in a panic as
>I am almost done raising my 5th child and do not relish another round. Then
>we met with my mom's oncologist on Friday and he is so wonderful and logical
>and explained that if we have to help with the kids it will only be for
>short periods of time. Just if they are ill etc. He tries to almost
>everything except the radiation and bone marrow on an outpatient basis, even
>when Tim is ill from infections he will be doing his antibiotics at home and
>in the clinic as an outpatient for chemo and transfusions. I am so glad to
>know this Dr. It is already making all the difference. The hospital had
>not retested Tim's bone marrow since the last chemo, nor done an echo
>cardiogram and many other things that this Dr is checking out before
>continueing the chemo. It will be about 5 months yet before the BMT so we
>do have some breathing space. Best of all this Dr and the hospital are in
>out town so we don't have long distance calls, transportation problems and
>all that. I feel 100% better and so do Tim and his wife and her family. If
>he's in the hospital for whatever it's close to my work and I can just go by
>before and after work. He will go to Oregon for the BMT but the Dr assures
>us that the nursing staff on that ward is the cream of the crop so we won't
>have the problems we had last time.
>
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
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