Re: [MOL] Fw: Eulogy [01073] Medicine On Line


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Re: [MOL] Fw: Eulogy



Sally,
That was sooo beautiful. I was reading the eulogy with tears rolling down
my cheeks. (I rarely ever cry, so that tells you how touched I was). I
never had the chance to get to know Charlie very well but feel closer to
him now than before. His memory will be kept alive by family and friends as
well as the world round by us Molers. I could not help but make the
connection between "celebratation of his life" and our mol t-shirts
"Celebration of Life". They are truly are tributes to all molers present
and passed on.
My heart goes out to you during this time. I truly admire you strength,
courage and dedication to Charlie. You shared such a wonderful relationship.
Take care of yourself and know that we are all here for you.
Christine


At 06:02 PM 10/09/98 -0500, you wrote:
>For those of you who could not be there, here is a copy of one of the
>Eulogies given at Charlie's service, by a very dear friend, John Pulling.
>
>Sally
>
>
>
>>>                         Eulogy for Charlie Tilson
>>
>>
>>We have come together today to honor the life of Charlie Tilson...a life
>>
>>
>>ended much earlier than any of us would have wanted.  This memorial service
>>
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>>begins a period of time for the celebration of his life, but that in no way
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>>diminishes the grief and sorrow that we feel for the loss of our family
>>
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>>member and friend.
>>
>>
>>
>>
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>>Today, we have our chance to say "Thank you Charlie, for the way you
>>
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>>touched our lives".  We will all feel cheated that you are gone from us so
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>>young, and yet we must learn to be grateful for the time we had with you.
>>
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>>We pay you our respect and honor the memories you have left with us.  Your
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>>wonderful sense of humor; your joy for life, transmitted wherever you took
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>>that wonderful smile and the sparkle in your eyes; your laughter and
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>>affability that captured the hearts of the many people around you.
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>>
>>
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>>Everyone who was close to Charlie is here today and there's not much I can
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>>add to what you know about him; for those of you who may not have known him
>>
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>>as well, you too have a sense of what Charlie was about.  Of course, his
>>
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>>family knows him best;  Sally, his beloved wife and partner; his parents
>>
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>>Margie and Joseph, sister Kay, step parents Beverly and Hugh, and all the
>>
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>>other members of his family.  Many of you have known Charlie for a long
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>>time through his professional career as a musician;  others through school
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>>or family acquaintances.  I must admit that I haven't known Charlie for as
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>>long as many of you have;  maybe 2 +  years.   But during that brief period
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>>of time, I have come to treasure the friendship that I have had with
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>>Charlie.  The one thing that all of us have in common is our memories of
>>
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>>the times we spent with Charlie. The details of those memories are
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>>different for each of us;  nevertheless, I think there is commonality in
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>>our experiences.  So let me tell you about the Charlie that I know.
>>
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>>
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>>Charlie had a zest for life.  His enthusiasm and energy for the many
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>>projects he enjoyed seemed boundless, whether playing the piano, composing
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>>music on the computer or working on special projects like Phantom
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>>Productions.  My wife and I were introduced to Charlie by another mutual
>>
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>>friend.  Rick had heard Charlie play a number of times and was greatly
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>>impressed with Charlie's talent as a musician and entertainer.  He once
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>>told me how he had given Charlie a tape recorded song.  Charlie took the
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>>tape and after listening to it for a short time, sat down and recorded a
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>>piano arrangement.
>>
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>>
>>
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>>We went for the first time to see Charlie play at Amedeo's, a restaurant
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>>near Kingwood.  Have you ever met someone for the first time, and in a very
>>
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>>short while, felt like you had known them forever?  Well, that was how it
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>>was for us when we met Charlie and Sally that night.  We had such a
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>>wonderful time with them, listening to the music and talking between sets,
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>>that before we knew it, the restaurant was closing.  (I'm sure none of you
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>>have had that experience before.)  We invited them to our house where we
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>>continued to share experiences and some weird stuff called Cuarenta y Tres,
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>>interlaced of course with Charlie's spicy wit and humor.  He always seemed
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>>to have a good joke for any occasion.  As the night wore on, we invited
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>>them to stay with us, but they confessed they had left their babies,
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>>Spencer and Dizzy, at home alone and needed to take care of them so they
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>>left in the wee hours of the morning.
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>>
>>
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>>You might wonder what is so special about that story.  You might say that
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>>it sounds like a thousand other stories about Charlie.  And you would be
>>
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>>correct.  The significant point to all those stories is that with Charlie,
>>
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>>you always knew what you would get.  Charlie was consistently Charlie.  He
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>>lived without pretense and gave of his pure heart completely. Charlie never
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>>had to brag about his immense talent.  His music was its own expression of
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>>his talent.  We asked him earlier this summer how many songs he had in his
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>>repertory.  The answer was over two thousand songs.  Whether he was playing
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>>the piano entertaining an audience or sitting in my living room discussing
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>>computers or sitting at Rick's table eating turducken and grilled boudin
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>>washed down with copious amounts of red wine, Charlie was the same witty,
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>>entertaining, interesting, caring, loving person as he had been the first
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>>time we met.
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>>
>>
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>>Along with his zest for life and boundless energy, Charlie was a very rich
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>>man.  (After seeing all those doctor bills, I know Sally will be glad to
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>>hear that).  No,  I'm not talking about riches measured in dollars and
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>>cents.  I'm talking about those things that are priceless...the love,
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>>admiration and friendship of so many people, including all of you in this
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>>audience today and those that could not be here.  Charlie had many friends
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>>before his illness was diagnosed.  And those friends really came to bat for
>>
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>>him, or should I say, Sit In For Him, when he could not continue his
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>>engagements.  And, there are many others who gave of themselves to help
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>>their friend during this time  Let me tell you, you have honored Charlie
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>>and you have honored yourself by your selfless acts of kindness.
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>>
>>
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>>But beyond any shadow of doubt, the crown jewel of Charlie's wealth is his
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>>loving, devoted wife Sally.  Sally wasn't just his wife.  She was his
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>>soul-mate.  They were the perfect compliment to each other.  They enjoyed
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>>each other so much.  There was a certain synergy in their relationship that
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>>many couples never experience.  And once Charlie started treatment for his
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>>cancer, Sally never left his side, standing toe to toe against the
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>>hospitals, doctors, nurses and insurance companies to make sure that
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>>Charlie received the best possible care.  Sally, I've told you before how I
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>>feel about that, but we all have the utmost respect for your tireless labor
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>>during this extremely difficult time.
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>>
>>
>>
>>
>>Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, a noted physician and psychiatrist, has written many
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>>books on the subject of Death and Dying.  In one of her books she says, "
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>>People are like stain-glass windows.  They sparkle and shine when the sun
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>>is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only
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>>if there is a light from within."   All of us who knew Charlie knew we were
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>>seeing a beautiful stain-glass window.  I also know those of us who were
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>>fortunate to be around Charlie during this dark period of his illness, have
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>>also seen the true beauty of the stain-glass window as the light from
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>>within him has shone so brightly.  Throughout this entire ordeal, I never
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>>saw Charlie lose his positive, upbeat, optimistic outlook.  I never heard
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>>him complain or ask for sympathy, although he had every right to feel that
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>>way.  He remained the consumate entertainer, more concerned with those
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>>around him, than he was for himself.
>>
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>>
>>
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>>There are many special memories that I have that typify the things that I
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>>have been trying to say about Charlie.  There is one in particular that
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>>stands out in my mind that I want to tell you about, because I think it is
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>>the best example of the Charlie that I know.
>>
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>>
>>
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>>My wife and I had gone to see Charlie at his home right after the decision
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>>to stop treatment for the cancer.  This was a very difficult time for us
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>>because we all knew, including Charlie, that this could be the last time we
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>>would be together.  Charlie had told Sally that morning, it was time to go
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>>to church, so when we arrived, I suggested that we have a prayer service
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>>with the emphasis on ministering to a sick person, namely Charlie.  As I
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>>began, I was overcome with emotion but gained control and continued.  There
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>>is a point in the service where I would lay my hands upon Charlie's head
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>>and offer a prayer.  I was doing good until I placed my hands on Charlie's
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>>head and started the prayer.  In the serenity and reverence of that moment,
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>>my emotions got the better of me.  But it was at this same moment, while my
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>>hand was on Charlie's head, sobbing and trying to say the prayer, that
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>>Charlie looked up at me, and without a word, put his hand on my arm as if
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>>to say, "it's all right, I'm here with you".  How's that for a switch.  I'm
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>>supposed to be consoling him, and he winds up consoling me.  In the
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>>darkness of that moment, the light from within Charlie shone brightly upon
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>>us all.
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>>
>>
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>>I could go on and on with the memories that I have and will treasure
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>>forever.  You have many memories of your own.  I would ask you to keep
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>>those memories alive.  Remember Charlie.  Talk about him.  Relive your
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>>experiences of him.  He already has eternal life in Heaven.  You can give
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>>him eternal life here on earth.  Talk to Sally about Charlie.  Talk to his
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>>family.  Please don't think you will hurt them any more by talking about
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>>him.  They are already in terrible pain over the loss of this wonderful
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>>husband, son and brother.  How could you possibly make them hurt any more
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>>by saying something nice about Charlie?
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>>
>>
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>>There is a poem by Constance Jenkins that I think addresses very well this
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>>topic of memories.  I found this at a beautiful spot on the Internet that
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>>deals with the loss of a pet.  That may seem strange to some of you, but
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>>love for our pets is something else Charlie and Sally and Nancy and I
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>>share.  So knowing of Charlie's love for his babies, his dogs, it seems
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>>fitting to me to close with this.
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>>
>>
>>
>>                     Weep not for me though I am gone
>>                          Into that gentle night
>>                   Grieve if you will, but not for long
>>                       Upon my soul's sweet flight.
>>
>>                     I am at peace, my soul's at rest
>>                        There is no need for tears.
>>                    For with your love I was so blessed
>>                         For all those many years.
>>
>>                      There is no pain, I suffer not,
>>                         The fear now all is gone.
>>                Put now these things out of your thoughts,
>>                         In your memory I live on.
>>
>>                     Remember not my fight for breath
>>                          Remember not the strife
>>                    Please do not dwell upon my death,
>>                          But celebrate my life.
>>
>>
>>
>
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