For those of you who could not be there, here is a copy of one of the
Eulogies given at Charlie's service, by a very dear friend, John Pulling.
Sally
>I did a cut-and-paste so this should work since there isn't any special
>formatting. The original is in Lotus Word Pro, but can put it in MS Word
>if you would like it that way. Or I can do whatever you would like. Just
>let me know. If you want to put this in Word, the easist way would be to
>cut-and-paste. I have it set up for double-spacing but you can change that
>in Word. I also reduced the font pitch from 14 to 12.
>
>We also enjoyed your visit with us the other night. Nancy is off to Salt
>Lake City now, but if there is anything I can do for you just let me know.
>Rick and I will be around this weekend if you need us.
>
>Love, Jon
>
> Eulogy for Charlie Tilson
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>
>We have come together today to honor the life of Charlie Tilson...a life
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>ended much earlier than any of us would have wanted. This memorial service
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>begins a period of time for the celebration of his life, but that in no way
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>diminishes the grief and sorrow that we feel for the loss of our family
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>member and friend.
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>Today, we have our chance to say "Thank you Charlie, for the way you
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>touched our lives". We will all feel cheated that you are gone from us so
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>young, and yet we must learn to be grateful for the time we had with you.
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>We pay you our respect and honor the memories you have left with us. Your
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>wonderful sense of humor; your joy for life, transmitted wherever you took
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>that wonderful smile and the sparkle in your eyes; your laughter and
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>affability that captured the hearts of the many people around you.
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>Everyone who was close to Charlie is here today and there's not much I can
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>add to what you know about him; for those of you who may not have known him
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>as well, you too have a sense of what Charlie was about. Of course, his
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>family knows him best; Sally, his beloved wife and partner; his parents
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>Margie and Joseph, sister Kay, step parents Beverly and Hugh, and all the
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>other members of his family. Many of you have known Charlie for a long
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>time through his professional career as a musician; others through school
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>or family acquaintances. I must admit that I haven't known Charlie for as
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>long as many of you have; maybe 2 + years. But during that brief period
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>of time, I have come to treasure the friendship that I have had with
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>Charlie. The one thing that all of us have in common is our memories of
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>the times we spent with Charlie. The details of those memories are
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>different for each of us; nevertheless, I think there is commonality in
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>our experiences. So let me tell you about the Charlie that I know.
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>Charlie had a zest for life. His enthusiasm and energy for the many
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>projects he enjoyed seemed boundless, whether playing the piano, composing
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>music on the computer or working on special projects like Phantom
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>Productions. My wife and I were introduced to Charlie by another mutual
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>friend. Rick had heard Charlie play a number of times and was greatly
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>impressed with Charlie's talent as a musician and entertainer. He once
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>told me how he had given Charlie a tape recorded song. Charlie took the
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>tape and after listening to it for a short time, sat down and recorded a
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>piano arrangement.
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>We went for the first time to see Charlie play at Amedeo's, a restaurant
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>near Kingwood. Have you ever met someone for the first time, and in a very
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>short while, felt like you had known them forever? Well, that was how it
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>was for us when we met Charlie and Sally that night. We had such a
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>wonderful time with them, listening to the music and talking between sets,
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>that before we knew it, the restaurant was closing. (I'm sure none of you
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>have had that experience before.) We invited them to our house where we
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>continued to share experiences and some weird stuff called Cuarenta y Tres,
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>interlaced of course with Charlie's spicy wit and humor. He always seemed
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>to have a good joke for any occasion. As the night wore on, we invited
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>them to stay with us, but they confessed they had left their babies,
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>Spencer and Dizzy, at home alone and needed to take care of them so they
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>left in the wee hours of the morning.
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>You might wonder what is so special about that story. You might say that
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>it sounds like a thousand other stories about Charlie. And you would be
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>correct. The significant point to all those stories is that with Charlie,
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>you always knew what you would get. Charlie was consistently Charlie. He
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>lived without pretense and gave of his pure heart completely. Charlie never
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>had to brag about his immense talent. His music was its own expression of
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>his talent. We asked him earlier this summer how many songs he had in his
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>repertory. The answer was over two thousand songs. Whether he was playing
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>the piano entertaining an audience or sitting in my living room discussing
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>computers or sitting at Rick's table eating turducken and grilled boudin
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>washed down with copious amounts of red wine, Charlie was the same witty,
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>entertaining, interesting, caring, loving person as he had been the first
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>time we met.
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>Along with his zest for life and boundless energy, Charlie was a very rich
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>man. (After seeing all those doctor bills, I know Sally will be glad to
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>hear that). No, I'm not talking about riches measured in dollars and
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>cents. I'm talking about those things that are priceless...the love,
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>admiration and friendship of so many people, including all of you in this
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>audience today and those that could not be here. Charlie had many friends
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>before his illness was diagnosed. And those friends really came to bat for
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>him, or should I say, Sit In For Him, when he could not continue his
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>engagements. And, there are many others who gave of themselves to help
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>their friend during this time Let me tell you, you have honored Charlie
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>and you have honored yourself by your selfless acts of kindness.
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>But beyond any shadow of doubt, the crown jewel of Charlie's wealth is his
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>loving, devoted wife Sally. Sally wasn't just his wife. She was his
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>soul-mate. They were the perfect compliment to each other. They enjoyed
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>each other so much. There was a certain synergy in their relationship that
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>many couples never experience. And once Charlie started treatment for his
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>cancer, Sally never left his side, standing toe to toe against the
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>hospitals, doctors, nurses and insurance companies to make sure that
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>Charlie received the best possible care. Sally, I've told you before how I
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>feel about that, but we all have the utmost respect for your tireless labor
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>during this extremely difficult time.
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>Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, a noted physician and psychiatrist, has written many
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>books on the subject of Death and Dying. In one of her books she says, "
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>People are like stain-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun
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>is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only
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>if there is a light from within." All of us who knew Charlie knew we were
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>seeing a beautiful stain-glass window. I also know those of us who were
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>fortunate to be around Charlie during this dark period of his illness, have
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>also seen the true beauty of the stain-glass window as the light from
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>within him has shone so brightly. Throughout this entire ordeal, I never
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>saw Charlie lose his positive, upbeat, optimistic outlook. I never heard
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>him complain or ask for sympathy, although he had every right to feel that
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>way. He remained the consumate entertainer, more concerned with those
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>around him, than he was for himself.
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>There are many special memories that I have that typify the things that I
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>have been trying to say about Charlie. There is one in particular that
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>stands out in my mind that I want to tell you about, because I think it is
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>the best example of the Charlie that I know.
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>My wife and I had gone to see Charlie at his home right after the decision
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>to stop treatment for the cancer. This was a very difficult time for us
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>because we all knew, including Charlie, that this could be the last time we
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>would be together. Charlie had told Sally that morning, it was time to go
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>to church, so when we arrived, I suggested that we have a prayer service
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>with the emphasis on ministering to a sick person, namely Charlie. As I
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>began, I was overcome with emotion but gained control and continued. There
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>is a point in the service where I would lay my hands upon Charlie's head
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>and offer a prayer. I was doing good until I placed my hands on Charlie's
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>head and started the prayer. In the serenity and reverence of that moment,
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>my emotions got the better of me. But it was at this same moment, while my
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>hand was on Charlie's head, sobbing and trying to say the prayer, that
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>Charlie looked up at me, and without a word, put his hand on my arm as if
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>to say, "it's all right, I'm here with you". How's that for a switch. I'm
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>supposed to be consoling him, and he winds up consoling me. In the
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>darkness of that moment, the light from within Charlie shone brightly upon
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>us all.
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>I could go on and on with the memories that I have and will treasure
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>forever. You have many memories of your own. I would ask you to keep
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>those memories alive. Remember Charlie. Talk about him. Relive your
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>experiences of him. He already has eternal life in Heaven. You can give
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>him eternal life here on earth. Talk to Sally about Charlie. Talk to his
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>family. Please don't think you will hurt them any more by talking about
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>him. They are already in terrible pain over the loss of this wonderful
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>husband, son and brother. How could you possibly make them hurt any more
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>by saying something nice about Charlie?
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>There is a poem by Constance Jenkins that I think addresses very well this
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>topic of memories. I found this at a beautiful spot on the Internet that
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>deals with the loss of a pet. That may seem strange to some of you, but
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>love for our pets is something else Charlie and Sally and Nancy and I
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>share. So knowing of Charlie's love for his babies, his dogs, it seems
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>fitting to me to close with this.
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> Weep not for me though I am gone
> Into that gentle night
> Grieve if you will, but not for long
> Upon my soul's sweet flight.
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> I am at peace, my soul's at rest
> There is no need for tears.
> For with your love I was so blessed
> For all those many years.
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> There is no pain, I suffer not,
> The fear now all is gone.
> Put now these things out of your thoughts,
> In your memory I live on.
>
> Remember not my fight for breath
> Remember not the strife
> Please do not dwell upon my death,
> But celebrate my life.
>
>
>
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