[MOL] Laughter is the best medicine [00968] Medicine On Line

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[MOL] Laughter is the best medicine

Well my dear friends, since I am attempting to win back my place as a 
reasonable teller of jokes, I humbly submit the following two for a smile 
at the end of a day.  I hope you enjoy and go forward with joy and 
laughter in your hearts.

God Bless.

A  dedicated union electrician was attending a convention in Las Vegas
and, as you would expect, decided to check out the local brothels.

When he got to the first one, he asked the Madame, "Is this a union

"No," she replied, "I'm sorry, it isn't."

"Well, if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?"

"The house gets $80 and the girls get $20."

Mightily offended at such unfair dealings, the man stomped off down the
street in search of a more  equitable, hopefully unionized, shop. His
search continued until finally he reached a brothel where the Madame
responded, "Why, yes, sir, this IS a union house."

The man asked, "And if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?"
"The girls get $80 and the house gets $20."

"That's more like it!" the union man said. He looked around the room
and pointed to a stunningly attractive blonde. "I'd like her for the

"I'm sure you would, sir," said the Madame. Then, gesturing to an
obese,  repulsive, fifty-five year-old woman in the corner, "but Ethel
here, has  more seniority."

Mildred was a 93 year-old woman who was particularly despondent over the 
recent death of her husband Earl. She decided that she would just kill 
herself and join him in death. Thinking that it would be best to get it 
over with quickly, she took out Earl's old Army pistol and made the 
decision to shoot herself in the heart since it was so badly broken in 
the first place. 

Not wanting to miss the vital organ and become a vegetable and burden to 
someone, she called her doctor's office to inquire as to just exactly 
where the heart would be.

"On a woman," the doctor said, "your heart would be just below your
left breast."
Later that night, Mildred was admitted to the hospital with a gunshot
wound to her left knee.
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