Re: [MOL] Subject: Magic Mirror [00305] Medicine On Line


[Date Prev][Date Next][Thread Prev][Thread Next][Date Index][Thread Index]

Re: [MOL] Subject: Magic Mirror



Les, you just joined our loving sick puppy group!

Lesnpeg@aol.com wrote:

> <<
>  >> Subject:  Magic Mirror
>  >>
>  >> A newlywed couple were looking to decorate their new house. While they
>  >>
>  >> were bargain hunting, they found an unusual mirror, which the shop
>  >> owner stated was "magical".  The couple bought the mirror, and placed
>  >> it on the back of their bedroom door.
>  >>
>  >> One day the wife decided to test the mirror out, and while looking
>  >> into the mirror, she said, "Mirror, mirror on the door. Make my boobs
>  >> size 44."
>  >>
>  >> And low and behold it came true! She ran down the stairs to show her
>  >> husband, who was utterly amazed. He proceeded to run up to the
>  >> bedroom, and while looking in the mirror he said, "Mirror, mirror on
>  >> the door. Make my manhood touch the floor."
>  >>
>  >> And then his legs fell off.
>
>
>   >>
>
>   ------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> Subject: Fw: FUNNY
> Date: Mon, 31 Aug 1998 17:00:23 -0400
> From: "John Durante" <durantej@worldnet.att.net>
> To: "Sue Johnson" <mysue@dnaco.net>, "Peter Durante" <durantep@prodigy.net>,
>      "Paul VanVleet" <pvan@fuse.net>, "Marc Sundstrom" <marc1149@fuse.net>,
>      "Les & Peggy Dow" <Lesnpeg@aol.com>, <jaclor@webtv.net>,
>      "Gina Stout" <jgsgmsles@worldnet.att.net>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Donald Wiederhold <Donald.Wiederhold@sdrc.com>
> To: Cliff <Cliff_Myers@TriHealth.com>; Djhard@ra.rockwell.com
> <Djhard@ra.rockwell.com>; dldotson@gte.net <dldotson@gte.net>; John Durante
> <durantej@worldnet.att.net>; Scott_Ellis@TriHealth.com
> <Scott_Ellis@TriHealth.com>; williewilson@worldnet.att.net
> <williewilson@worldnet.att.net>
> Date: Monday, August 31, 1998 2:43 PM
> Subject: FUNNY
>
> >Maria is a devoted, religious girl. She gets married and has 17
> >> children.
> >> Then her husband dies. She remarries two weeks later, and has 22
> >> children by her next husband. Then he dies. A while later, she dies.
> >> At the funeral, the priest looks skyward and says, "At least they're
> >> finally together."  A guy sitting in the front row says, "Excuse me
> >> father, but you do mean her and her FIRST husband, or her and her
> >> SECOND
> >> husband?"
> >> The priest says, "I  mean her legs."
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >> Subject:  Par for the course
> >>
> >>              Four married guys go golfing. During the 4th hole the
> >>            following conversation took place:
> >>
> >>              First Guy: "You have no idea what I had to do to be
> >>            able to come out golfing this weekend. I had to promise
> >>            my wife that I will paint every room in the house next
> >>            weekend."
> >>
> >>              Second Guy: "That's nothing, I had to promise my wife
> >>            that I will build her a new deck for the pool."
> >>
> >>              Third Guy: "Man, you both have it easy! I had to
> >>            promise my wife that I will remodel the kitchen for
> >>            her."
> >>
> >>              They continue to play the hole when they realized that
> >>            the fourth guy has not said a word. So they ask him.
> >>            "You haven't said anything about what you had to do to
> >>            be able to come golfing this weekend. What's the deal?"
> >>
> >>              Fourth Guy: "I just set my alarm for 5:30am. When it
> >>            goes off, I shut off my alarm, give the wife a nudge and
> >>            say, 'Golf Course or Intercourse?' and she says, 'Wear
> >>            your sweater.'"
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >> Subject:  Bill Clinton Should Be So Lucky
> >>
> >> A man with a terrible stutter decides he will follow his life
> >> long dream and become a politician.  He tells his wife,
> >>
> >> "IIII  wwwant ttto bbbe a po-po-po-politician".
> >>
> >> The wife says, "Honey, you could  never run for office!  Your
> >> stutter is too bad."
> >>
> >> "BBBut iiit  ha-ha-has       al-al-al-allllways bbbeeen mmmy
> >> lllife lllong dr-dr-dream!"
> >>
> >> "You will have to get that stutter fixed or you will never
> >> make it anywhere!" his wife insists.
> >>
> >> The next day he goes to the doctor and tells the doctor,
> >>
> >> "IIII wwwaaannt ttto bbbe a a a a ppo-po-po-politician, bbbbut
> >> I cccan't
> >> wwwin wwwith ttthis sstu-sstu-sstutter. Pl-pllllease hhhelp
> >> mmme."
> >>
> >> The doctor says, " Well, lets see what your problem is..."
> >> After  much examining, the doctor finds nothing out of the ordinary.
> >> Finally, the doctor says, "Pull down your pants."   The man does as he
> >> is
> >> told and the doctor says "Well, here is your problem!"
> >>
> >> The doctor  measures the mans penis and it is an amazing 18
> >> inches long!
> >> "Your penis  is too long!  It is pulling on our larynx and
> >> causing you this speech impediment!"
> >>
> >> "WWWHhhaaat cccan yyyou dddo, Dr.?"
> >>
> >> "We will have to cut off about 9 inches to relieve the tension
> >> on your
> >> larynx"  He says.  So right there the doctor does the procedure
> >> and voila!
> >> the mans' stutter is cured!
> >>
> >> The man goes home to his wife and says, "Honey!  I am cured!
> >> No more
> >> stutter!  Now I can follow my life-long dream and be a
> >> politician!"
> >>
> >> His wife, in total amazement, asks, "What happened?  How are
> >> you cured so
> >> quickly?"  The husband tells his wife, "My penis was too  long
> >> and was
> >> putting tension on my larynx, so the doctor took off 9  inches
> >> and it is a miracle!  I can speak normally!!!"
> >>
> >> The wife in total disbelief scorns, "Honey, are you good
> >> looking?"
> >>
> >> "Not really" says the man,
> >>
> >> "Are you rich?"
> >>
> >> Not at all",  says the man,
> >>
> >> "Are you gifted in any special way?",
> >>
> >> "No way at all" says the     man.
> >>
> >> "So, Why is it that you think I married you and have been with  you
> >> for
> >> 30 years????   -   You need to go straight back to that Dr. and have
> >> him
> >> reattach your penis or this marriage is over!", she shouts.
> >>
> >> The man ponders hard and long , """".......follow my life-long dream
> >> or
> >> save a wonderful, loving 30 year marriage?""""
> >> """".......follow my life-long dream or save a wonderful,
> >> loving  30-year marriage?""""
> >>  """".......follow my life long dream or  save a wonderful,
> >> loving 30-year
> >> marriage?"""" He decides without  fail that his 30-year
> >> marriage is worth
> >> more than any chance at being a politician, so he heads back to
> >> the doctor's office to tell  the dr. to reattach his member. The
> >> doctor looks at him in shock and  says,
> >>
> >>   "fffuuuckk yyyou!"
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >> Subject:  Magic Mirror
> >>
> >> A newlywed couple were looking to decorate their new house. While they
> >>
> >> were bargain hunting, they found an unusual mirror, which the shop
> >> owner stated was "magical".  The couple bought the mirror, and placed
> >> it on the back of their bedroom door.
> >>
> >> One day the wife decided to test the mirror out, and while looking
> >> into the mirror, she said, "Mirror, mirror on the door. Make my boobs
> >> size 44."
> >>
> >> And low and behold it came true! She ran down the stairs to show her
> >> husband, who was utterly amazed. He proceeded to run up to the
> >> bedroom, and while looking in the mirror he said, "Mirror, mirror on
> >> the door. Make my manhood touch the floor."
> >>
> >> And then his legs fell off.



------------------------------------------------------------------------
This is an automatically-generated notice.  If you'd like to be removed
from the mailing list, please visit the Medicine-On-Line Discussion Forum
at <http://www.meds.com/con_faq.html>, or send an email message to:
majordomo@lists.meds.com
with the subject line blank and the body of the message containing the line:
unsubscribe mol-cancer your-email-address
where the phrase your-email-address is replaced with your actual email
address.
------------------------------------------------------------------------