[MOL] The Meaning of Serenity [02806] Medicine On Line

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[MOL] The Meaning of Serenity

Dear Joicy,
Thank you so much for the inspiring message.
I just had to interject that I agree with
your beliefs and that you have explained
them in a wonderful way.
Love Carol

PS  Hope it is ok to squeeze in
on this one just for the moment.

Joicy Becker-Richards wrote:
> My dearest Vicci...and Liz, and Christine,
> Boy, do I identify with where you are!! Been there, done that, got the
> T-shirt, as they say...and I hope y'all don't feel like I'm telling you
> what you "should" do -- I really don't mean it that way. But Vicci, you
> asked an excellent question, and so I share from my heart what has
> happened to me, something that has nothing to do with "church" or
> "religion" per se, but about me simply saying directly to God, "Look, my
> life is a mess, I've done everything I can to make things work, I've
> failed, I'm angry, hurt and have lost all hope. If you're real, you need
> to show me you are who you say you are." I was that honest, probably not
> that nice (because I was majorly pissed and depressed at the time) and I
> did put him to the test. I was a "welfare mom" with 2 small kids, no
> job, no car, no friends, no prospects, living in hiding from a crazy man
> who was trying to kill me. And that is only a tiny part of the personal
> hell I've been through.
> Like you, I have a long list of church "horror stories." It's taken me
> most of my life to separate out God from the so-called followers of God,
> who mostly make me crazy! In college I had a born-again Christian
> room-mate that nearly drove me nuts, like when I went to what I thought
> was a party that turned out to be a prayer meeting for me, to help me
> see my sin in dating a Jewish boy!! I can't tell you how many times I
> have walked out of churches feeling angry!
> And like you, I was so disgusted with people acting holier-than-thou,
> who didn't live what they said they believed. What I realized was that
> the church is not sanctuary for saints, but a kind of hospital for the
> lost, the broken, the struggling. Many are folks who have reached a
> point of desperation, but are still trying so hard to find their way.
> Sometimes they over-compensate, or try to hide hide their feelings of
> not measuring up by pretending to have it all together. But big changes
> don't happen overnight... transformation is a life-long process. In some
> ways, the church at it's best is like the Mol line -- struggling people,
> who are facing their brokenness, and trying to do their best, helping
> each other along the way.
> Vicci, I agree with Lillian, that the fact that you are trying to live
> your life in an honorable way shows God's hand in your life already. But
> what I'm talking about is this...because of your bad experiences, etc.,
> you're not able to take full advantage of God's power...it's like living
> in a big house with electrical outlets everywhere, and trying to live
> off of one little outlet. The power is there, but you can't use it if
> you don't plug into it. And it's a gradual process. Like any
> relationship, it doesn't happen overnight. It takes time to build the
> trust. It took me 13 years to build the kind of trust that gave me peace
> during my cancer. But think of the people you know and trust -- hasn't
> it taken time to trust them, too?
> Vicci, I have absolutely nothing to gain or lose by what you choose to
> do. My purpose is only to give you hope, and to be as someone once said,
> "one beggar showing another where to find bread." Don't take my word for
> it, and do not give any of this another thought if it makes no sense to
> you. But if you are curious, if you are trying to figure out that
> longing deep inside, put God to the test. Doubt is not anti-God, but the
> beginning of faith. God doesn't ask for mindless submission or fakey
> prayers -- he wants a relationship. He wants honesty, in all it's forms.
> He want's you to say it like it is. Try the journal, Vicci. In it, give
> God a piece of your mind, if that's how you're feeling. (Look at the
> Psalms, and how many begin in distress, but all end in praise.) Write
> letters to him with all that's on your heart. And then be sure to also
> write what happens in response. You will be amazed.
> Again, I hope I have not offended -- I can only speak my heart in
> response to your confusion and struggle. Lots of love, your friend,
> Joicy

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