Re: [MOL] The Meaning of Serenity [02795] Medicine On Line


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Re: [MOL] The Meaning of Serenity



Dear Liz,  
Now I don't feel so all alone either.  I've thought all day about what I
wrote to Joicy and felt kinda bad but then I also felt very truthful.  The
way I see it is........Lucky Joicy.  She was able to do it.  I felt like I
was challenging her a bit, you know.....so make me see the light or try. 
Nothing else has worked.  I envy her and all the others that can have that
calm and serene feeling knowing they've put theirselves in God's hands.  
Dear Joicy,  I'm not talking behind your back, honey.  I was surprised to
hear from another MOLer on this subject.  You know how everyone is afraid
to talk about politics and religion.  I thought we did quite well.  I do
envy you and if I try hard enough someday the light may come on in my
brain.  Love you both.....Vicci

----------
> From: Elizabeth Patterson <eapat@ewa.net>
> To: mol-cancer@lists.meds.com
> Subject: Re: [MOL] The Meaning of Serenity
> Date: Friday, August 28, 1998 6:56 AM
> 
> Dear Vicci,
> You have just put into words my feelings about religion. I was raised to
go
> to church every Sunday and to learn the articles of faith and all the
> commandments and the Christian rules and regulations, but I never "Saw
the
> Light." And I still don't. Interestingly enough I believe in the
Christian
> philosophy "Love thy Neighbor as thyself". And I never knowingly take
> unfair advantage of anyone or do others wrong (maybe that's why I'll
never
> have any money), but I don't have the kind of religious conviction that
> allows me to place all my faith and trust in God. Maybe I am a control
> freak, but I have always run  my own life and taken responsibility for my
> own actions.
> 
> I wish I could just hand my problems over to God and trust that all is
> well, but I can't. Now I don't feel so alone in my views.
> 
> Liz P.
> 
> 
> >Dear Joicy,
> >Wow.....how do I answer this?  First of all I would never take offense
from
> >a friend trying to help, especially you.  You wrote a very caring and
> >inspirational letter and I thank you.  I guess I just don't know how to
do
> >what your asking.  As a child I went to a little Protestant church in
our
> >neighborhood and had fun and put my little quarter in the basket with my
> >brothers.  Then I started going to the Mormon church with the two girls
> >next door.  When I was old enough to stand up and give my testimonial I
> >quit.  I learned scriptures and verses and went till about 15 years of
age.
> > Got that far before I was being encouraged to testify.  I guess that
> >scared me.  Not wanting to talk to a group of people.  I've heard the
> >phrase, "Let go, Let God"  Most of the people I know that go to church
> >preach the word but don't live the word.  And many others I don't know
> >personally don't live up to what I assume they are being taught in the
> >church.  I know it's not fair to pray only when you need something very
> >badly but I find a comfort in living my life as best I can without
hurting
> >others.  I try to think before saying a hurtful thing.  I try to put
myself
> >in the other persons shoes before criticizing.  I'm not making excuses
but
> >I just haven't felt the thing you have felt about going with God.  I'm
> >definetly open to it.  But what do I do, go to church and hope it
happens?
> >It makes me very uncomfortable when people start talking religion and I
> >know how they lead their lives.  I've often thought I would take my
> >granddaughter and go down the street to the little church.  Give it a
try.
> >Maybe I will.  How come it's so easy for some to just all of a sudden,
> >believe?  Why is it so hard for some of us.  I do believe in a higher
power
> >but sometimes I just think about the karma of a situation and that's
enough
> >to make me change something.  Like not throwing my gum out the car
window
> >because I know gum will come into my life somehow.  I'll step in it or
the
> >car in front of me will sling it up on my car.  I'm not making light of
> >this, I'm telling you exactly how I think about things.  I don't step on
> >ants, intentionally.  I always let a driver pull in my lane.  Just
stupid
> >little things.  I'm probably not getting the drift of what you're trying
to
> >tell me but I swear I just don't understand.  I've often thought how
easy
> >it would be to have some help....so why doesn't it come?  Why aren't I
hit
> >over the head, being I'm so hardheaded.  It sure would be easier than
> >trying to handle all this myself.  Maybe I'm a control freak.  Sounds
like
> >it took some convincing on your part also.  Maybe I will get that book
and
> >write a few things down.  Just to see what happens.  Just don't give up
on
> >me, Joicy!  Where there's a will, there's a way, huh?  Love you!   Vicci
> >
> >----------
> >> From: Joicy Becker-Richards <joicy@erols.com>
> >> To: mol-cancer@lists.meds.com
> >> Subject: Re: [MOL] The Meaning of Serenity
> >> Date: Wednesday, August 26, 1998 6:43 PM
> >>
> >> Dear Vicci,
> >> With all that is going on in your life these days, I'm not surprised
> >> you're feeling kind of shaky, dear friend. And when everything is
> >> stirred up, it is so hard to find perspective. Unfortunately, there is
> >> no easy fix -- though folks will always hunt for it in meds, drugs,
> >> alcohol, money, etc., etc. Speaking from personal experience, I've
found
> >> only one source for that kind of serenity: knowing that there is
higher
> >> power with a plan... I tried for so long to "do it all" on my own,
with
> >> disasterous results. Finally, in desperation, I gave up and literally
> >> issued God a challenge: "Ok, you think you can do better with my life?
> >> Go for it! But I'm keeping notes!" And I did -- and he did. I mean, I
> >> really put him to the test -- as things went wrong, or I needed help,
> >> I'd make note of it in a journal, and then watch to see how he'd
resolve
> >> it. What amazed me is that I was always willing to settle for mediocre
> >> solutions, when God wanted to give me the best -- his answers always
> >> exceed my expectations.
> >>
> >> Oh, the stories I could tell... But the real test came 3 years ago as
I
> >> sat in a bath, dicovered a lump, and knew I had breast cancer. And in
> >> spite of it, like the mother bird in the story, I felt an impossible
> >> serenity, "the peace that passes all understanding," as the scriptures
> >> describe it. And that feeling stayed with me, even during the worst of
> >> it, with bad reactions to chemo, etc. We have a very powerful God.
It's
> >> tough turning things loose to him, but wow! the things that happen
when
> >> you do!
> >>
> >> Anyhow I share this with you as a friend, with love and concern for
all
> >> you're going through, and the hope I haven't offended. You and your
> >> family continue to be in my prayers. Love, Joicy
> >>
> >> Vicci Ewen wrote:
> >> >
> >> > Oh to feel serene like that mother bird.  I kinda feel shaky most of
> >the
> >> > time lately.
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> 
> 
> Liz P. Of Yakima
> 
> 
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