Thank you my friend......Lillian
You always make me feel better. Had a nice 3 hour nap on a Fri. afternoon
and feeling great! Hope you are too!!! Love Vicci
----------
> From: lillian jennings <firefly@islc.net>
> To: mol-cancer@lists.meds.com
> Subject: Re: [MOL]Oh Vicci!
> Date: Friday, August 28, 1998 7:03 AM
>
> I think your already there and thats why you can't see it. If one lives
the way
> you are doing, thats what it is all about, even our Joicy will agree.
You are a
> "Action not Words Believer". Love you, Lillian
>
> Vicci Ewen wrote:
>
> > Dear Joicy,
> > Wow.....how do I answer this? First of all I would never take offense
from
> > a friend trying to help, especially you. You wrote a very caring and
> > inspirational letter and I thank you. I guess I just don't know how to
do
> > what your asking. As a child I went to a little Protestant church in
our
> > neighborhood and had fun and put my little quarter in the basket with
my
> > brothers. Then I started going to the Mormon church with the two girls
> > next door. When I was old enough to stand up and give my testimonial I
> > quit. I learned scriptures and verses and went till about 15 years of
age.
> > Got that far before I was being encouraged to testify. I guess that
> > scared me. Not wanting to talk to a group of people. I've heard the
> > phrase, "Let go, Let God" Most of the people I know that go to church
> > preach the word but don't live the word. And many others I don't know
> > personally don't live up to what I assume they are being taught in the
> > church. I know it's not fair to pray only when you need something very
> > badly but I find a comfort in living my life as best I can without
hurting
> > others. I try to think before saying a hurtful thing. I try to put
myself
> > in the other persons shoes before criticizing. I'm not making excuses
but
> > I just haven't felt the thing you have felt about going with God. I'm
> > definetly open to it. But what do I do, go to church and hope it
happens?
> > It makes me very uncomfortable when people start talking religion and I
> > know how they lead their lives. I've often thought I would take my
> > granddaughter and go down the street to the little church. Give it a
try.
> > Maybe I will. How come it's so easy for some to just all of a sudden,
> > believe? Why is it so hard for some of us. I do believe in a higher
power
> > but sometimes I just think about the karma of a situation and that's
enough
> > to make me change something. Like not throwing my gum out the car
window
> > because I know gum will come into my life somehow. I'll step in it or
the
> > car in front of me will sling it up on my car. I'm not making light of
> > this, I'm telling you exactly how I think about things. I don't step
on
> > ants, intentionally. I always let a driver pull in my lane. Just
stupid
> > little things. I'm probably not getting the drift of what you're
trying to
> > tell me but I swear I just don't understand. I've often thought how
easy
> > it would be to have some help....so why doesn't it come? Why aren't I
hit
> > over the head, being I'm so hardheaded. It sure would be easier than
> > trying to handle all this myself. Maybe I'm a control freak. Sounds
like
> > it took some convincing on your part also. Maybe I will get that book
and
> > write a few things down. Just to see what happens. Just don't give up
on
> > me, Joicy! Where there's a will, there's a way, huh? Love you!
Vicci
> >
> > ----------
> > > From: Joicy Becker-Richards <joicy@erols.com>
> > > To: mol-cancer@lists.meds.com
> > > Subject: Re: [MOL] The Meaning of Serenity
> > > Date: Wednesday, August 26, 1998 6:43 PM
> > >
> > > Dear Vicci,
> > > With all that is going on in your life these days, I'm not surprised
> > > you're feeling kind of shaky, dear friend. And when everything is
> > > stirred up, it is so hard to find perspective. Unfortunately, there
is
> > > no easy fix -- though folks will always hunt for it in meds, drugs,
> > > alcohol, money, etc., etc. Speaking from personal experience, I've
found
> > > only one source for that kind of serenity: knowing that there is
higher
> > > power with a plan... I tried for so long to "do it all" on my own,
with
> > > disasterous results. Finally, in desperation, I gave up and literally
> > > issued God a challenge: "Ok, you think you can do better with my
life?
> > > Go for it! But I'm keeping notes!" And I did -- and he did. I mean, I
> > > really put him to the test -- as things went wrong, or I needed help,
> > > I'd make note of it in a journal, and then watch to see how he'd
resolve
> > > it. What amazed me is that I was always willing to settle for
mediocre
> > > solutions, when God wanted to give me the best -- his answers always
> > > exceed my expectations.
> > >
> > > Oh, the stories I could tell... But the real test came 3 years ago as
I
> > > sat in a bath, dicovered a lump, and knew I had breast cancer. And in
> > > spite of it, like the mother bird in the story, I felt an impossible
> > > serenity, "the peace that passes all understanding," as the
scriptures
> > > describe it. And that feeling stayed with me, even during the worst
of
> > > it, with bad reactions to chemo, etc. We have a very powerful God.
It's
> > > tough turning things loose to him, but wow! the things that happen
when
> > > you do!
> > >
> > > Anyhow I share this with you as a friend, with love and concern for
all
> > > you're going through, and the hope I haven't offended. You and your
> > > family continue to be in my prayers. Love, Joicy
> > >
> > > Vicci Ewen wrote:
> > > >
> > > > Oh to feel serene like that mother bird. I kinda feel shaky most
of
> > the
> > > > time lately.
> >
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