[MOL] my father-in-law [02752] Medicine On Line

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[MOL] my father-in-law

well....four months to the day he was diagnosed we lost him...to pancreatic
cancer which spread to his liver. three months of experimental chemo did
nothing..upon being checked via cat scan 3 weeks the tumors had GROWN....he
was diagnosed in stage 4....we lost him 8/20/98 @ 10:40 pm, all five kids were
there with spouses/significant others...i've never watched anyone die before,
someone we all loved so much who worked so damn hard his whole life was
reduced to a groaning, moaning, frail little thing...a man who once was so BIG
in your eyes you see reduced to a mess of wires, tubes and a morphine button
which i had the pleasure (sarcastic) of beeping for him every five minutes
until he died....GOD! I just want to scream sooo loud.....i don't know who's
reading this but thanks for listening....he was admitted on 8/19/98 at 10:00
am and lingered until the next night...what a torturous 36 hours that was...We
don't miss the body that was lying in that bed we miss the dad full of advice,
the man who walked his oldest daughter down the aisle a few years ago beaming
with pride, who cried a tear of joy when he held his baby grand-daughter  for
the first time last April...God it's just so unfair! I hate this!  ...you
pretend to go back to your normal routine....but things will never be the
same...EVER! And my poor mom-in-law who incidentally is my best friend.....she
said being with him these last few months and slowly watching him die was like
someone trying to pull something away from and no matter how hard you hold on
you know they will eventually get it and you will never have it again....they
had know eachother for 40 years...He was 54 when he died last week....it sucks
so bad! my husband has 2 sister amd two brothers plus they all have
husbands/wives or girl/boyfriends so i mean she'll never be alone...she is the
coolest lady, too. is this  a nightmare...can i wake up now? what we've gone
through is a humbling experience to say the least.....all things seem so
inconsiquential now....life and love matter not any material crap...it's
meaningless....because if you have no one to share it with you might as well
forget happiness.......his mom got so upset the other day because she wants to
leave the house and sell it, she has to wait for insurance money...the whole
nine yards of crap...uggghh!!!!!    May He Rest In Peace and Remember You'll
Always Be In Our Hearts.......Thanks for listening whoever has read
this.......I really needed to get that out........Take Care Of Yourself and
Those You Love...We Only Have One Life...Make The Most Of It  :)
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