Re: [MOL] Joke Cathy [01728] Medicine On Line


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Re: [MOL] Joke Cathy



Wait -- what? this was supposed to be a JOKE??? This isn't for real??
And here I thought I had *finally* found a diet I could stay on!! I am
majorly disappointed! LOL! Love, Joicy

lillian B. Jennings wrote:
> 
> That joke takes the prize of the week.  Sorry Joicy and John!  Cathy, I am still
> on the floor laughing, help I fell and can't get up!   Great!  Your friend,
> Lillian
> 
> Telesco,Cathy wrote:
> 
> > Here's a joke...
> > The Stress Diet
> >
> > BREAKFAST
> >
> > 1/2 grapefruit
> > 1 slice whole wheat toast
> > 8 oz. skim milk
> > **********
> >
> > LUNCH
> >
> > 4 oz. lean broiled chicken breast
> > 1 cup steamed spinach
> > 1 cup herbal tea
> > 1 Oreo cookie
> > **********
> >
> > MIDAFTERNOON SNACK
> >
> > 1 medium apple
> > Rest of the Oreos in the package
> > 2 pints of rocky road ice cream
> > 1 jar hot fudge sauce
> > Nuts, cherries, whipped cream
> > **********
> >
> > DINNER
> >
> > 2 loaves garlic bread with parmesan cheese
> > 1 large sausage, mushroom and cheese pizza
> > 4 cans or 1 large pitcher of beer
> > 3 Milky Way or Snickers candy bars
> > **********
> >
> > LATE EVENING NEWS
> >
> > Entire frozen cheesecake eaten directly from freezer
> > **********
> >
> > RULES FOR THIS DIET
> >
> > 1. If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.
> > 2. If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the candy
> > bar are cancelled out by the diet soda.
> > 3. When you eat with someone else, calories don't count if you eat less
> > than they do.
> > 4. Food used for medicinal purposes, such as hot chocolate, hot toddies
> > and Sara Lee Cheesecake, never count.
> > 5. If you fatten up everyone else around you, you look thinner.
> > 6. Foods consumed at the movies, such as Milk Duds, buttered popcorn,
> > Junior Mints, Red Hots and Tootsie Rolls, do not have calories because
> > they are part of the entire entertainment package and not one's personal
> > fuel.
> > 7. Cookie pieces contain no calories. The process of breaking causes
> > calorie leakage.
> > 8. Food prepared by your mother and/or your best friend, and eaten in
> > her presence, contains no calories.
> > 9. Thing licked off knives and spoons have no calories if you are in the
> > process of preparing something. Examples: Peanut butter on a knife
> > making a sandwich; ice cream on a spoon making a sundae.
> > 10. Foods that have the same color have the same number of calories.
> > Examples: Spinach and pistachio ice cream; mushrooms and white
> > chocolate.
> > NOTE: Chocolate is a universal color and may be substituted for any
> > other food color.
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