RE: [MOL] Joke Cathy [01691] Medicine On Line


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RE: [MOL] Joke Cathy



Paula: can't we still blame it on the washing machine???
Cathy

> -----Original Message-----
> From:	Appleton [SMTP:remember@therim.com]
> Sent:	Friday, August 21, 1998 12:12 AM
> To:	mol-cancer@lists.meds.com
> Subject:	Re: [MOL] Joke Cathy
> 
> Cathy:  Have your been peeking at my diet these days - those midnight
> attacks may be the reason my clothes are shrinking and I thought it was my
> washing machine!!!
> 
> Love it - Paula
> 
> ----------
> > From: lillian B. Jennings <firefly@islc.net>
> > To: mol-cancer@lists.meds.com
> > Subject: Re: [MOL] Joke Cathy
> > Date: Thursday, August 20, 1998 7:06 PM
> > 
> > That joke takes the prize of the week.  Sorry Joicy and John!  Cathy, I
> am still
> > on the floor laughing, help I fell and can't get up!   Great!  Your
> friend,
> > Lillian
> > 
> > Telesco,Cathy wrote:
> > 
> > > Here's a joke...
> > > The Stress Diet
> > >
> > > BREAKFAST
> > >
> > > 1/2 grapefruit
> > > 1 slice whole wheat toast
> > > 8 oz. skim milk
> > > **********
> > >
> > > LUNCH
> > >
> > > 4 oz. lean broiled chicken breast
> > > 1 cup steamed spinach
> > > 1 cup herbal tea
> > > 1 Oreo cookie
> > > **********
> > >
> > > MIDAFTERNOON SNACK
> > >
> > > 1 medium apple
> > > Rest of the Oreos in the package
> > > 2 pints of rocky road ice cream
> > > 1 jar hot fudge sauce
> > > Nuts, cherries, whipped cream
> > > **********
> > >
> > > DINNER
> > >
> > > 2 loaves garlic bread with parmesan cheese
> > > 1 large sausage, mushroom and cheese pizza
> > > 4 cans or 1 large pitcher of beer
> > > 3 Milky Way or Snickers candy bars
> > > **********
> > >
> > > LATE EVENING NEWS
> > >
> > > Entire frozen cheesecake eaten directly from freezer
> > > **********
> > >
> > > RULES FOR THIS DIET
> > >
> > > 1. If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no
> calories.
> > > 2. If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the
> candy
> > > bar are cancelled out by the diet soda.
> > > 3. When you eat with someone else, calories don't count if you eat
> less
> > > than they do.
> > > 4. Food used for medicinal purposes, such as hot chocolate, hot
> toddies
> > > and Sara Lee Cheesecake, never count.
> > > 5. If you fatten up everyone else around you, you look thinner.
> > > 6. Foods consumed at the movies, such as Milk Duds, buttered popcorn,
> > > Junior Mints, Red Hots and Tootsie Rolls, do not have calories because
> > > they are part of the entire entertainment package and not one's
> personal
> > > fuel.
> > > 7. Cookie pieces contain no calories. The process of breaking causes
> > > calorie leakage.
> > > 8. Food prepared by your mother and/or your best friend, and eaten in
> > > her presence, contains no calories.
> > > 9. Thing licked off knives and spoons have no calories if you are in
> the
> > > process of preparing something. Examples: Peanut butter on a knife
> > > making a sandwich; ice cream on a spoon making a sundae.
> > > 10. Foods that have the same color have the same number of calories.
> > > Examples: Spinach and pistachio ice cream; mushrooms and white
> > > chocolate.
> > > NOTE: Chocolate is a universal color and may be substituted for any
> > > other food color.
> > >
> > >
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> > 
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