Re: [MOL] Talking to kids about sex [01116] Medicine On Line

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Re: [MOL] Talking to kids about sex

I remember those days of bringing the kids in the bathroom with me. I think
they have forgotten about it though. They know what pads and tampons are
for from watching commercials on T.V. My daughter, Alison, got her 1st
period 3 months after her 10th birthday. The youngest I know of is 9.  (you
might not have as much time as you think). Be assured, they will probably
hear about things from their friends first, but, hopefully, they will come
home and ask you about what they have heard. 
Alison will be in grade 6 this coming year. Many of the girls had
boyfriends in grade 5 and they are already kissing them, going to the
movies, etc. A little girl in my son's grade 1 class last year said he
loved him and was going to marry him. So the girls start young, but the
boys aren't interested.
I am having the same problem with clothes for Alison as you are for
Shannon. I find the styles do change after you outgrow the 6x size. Alison
has now outgrown the kid's size 14 and is into a ladies small or size 6.
All the tops are low cut or too old. The clothes are more designed for work
than school. We have been trying different stores than we used to shop at
in an attempt to find something suitable. What they wear certainly does
affect how grown up they look.
As for the kids walking in on you, I have never had that happen. It is
difficult though because if we wait for the kids to be asleep, we would be
getting amourous at about 3 a.m. LOL. Look at it as that perfect
opportunity to discuss it with them (the next morning).
Aren't kids an adventure?
At 08:55 PM 14/08/98 -0400, you wrote:
>I might just take you up on your offer. LOL  (Of course, it'd be great to
>see you, too!)  Actually, I do discuss periods because she and Michael
>have seen that once-a-month stuff.  When they were younger, I'd have to
>take them into the bathroom w/me because they just weren't that safe
>outside.  And -of course - Shannon  is still permitted in occasionally
>since she's "a girl like me."  However, it's the sex stuff I think I
>might be nervous about.  The other night she awoke unexpectedly and
>nearly walked in on us.  I thought I'd end up having to explain things
>then!  But she didn't say anything so we escaped just in time.   She sees
>me take birth control pills and I've explained that they prevent me from
>having any more children.  I tell them that I've decided she and Michael
>are all the babies I'll ever want, that they are wonderful kids and
>they're just the right number of kids for me. 
>Shannon played w/a baby girl at the playground a few nights ago and I
>asked her if she'd like a baby sister (all the while knowing that Tom and
>I aren't really up to having another child - not at 42/we'd like to have
>*some* time alone someday! LOL).  Her eyes lit up and she said "yes,"
>while Michael cried out "no!"  (Babies annoy Michael. :-))  When I told
>Shannon that a baby in the family would mean less time & attention for
>Shannon and Michael, she changed her mind quickly.  Then today, Michael
>said he's going to have a baby brother when he gets big (like his dad and
>me).  I told him "absolutely not, you'll have to have your *own* kid." 
>By the time Michael's big, I'll *really* be out-of-commission in the
>kid-making department!  Any time I look goo-goo-eyed at babies, Tom
>reassures me that he doesn't want any more kids - which is just as well,
>because I do want to have some time alone w/him one day and I'm envying
>the cuddliness of the kids, not the diaper-changing, late nights,
>car-seat lifting, etc., etc. :-)  II bet teenagers who get pregnant don't
>think of that stuff.  I know that my expectations of the work involved in
>raising kids was off. 
>Anyway, I think it just might be a little uncomfortable to one day have
>to admit to my daughter that I do that thing that makes babies. :-)  And
>I'll have to then go into a discussion about *how* you do that thing? 
>Right now we're just trying to tell her that there are a lot of elements
>involved in a good boy/girl relationship, that you should finish school
>before you marry a guy (we can always hope.), etc. 
>I may just have to yell "help" to you when the time comes to tell her
>more than that.  I *am* afraid she'll learn something from her friends
>before I have a chance to tell her myself.  I understand that a lot is
>said in school and on the school bus.  Her buddy Kevin was here today and
>was hamming it up for the video recorder (Linda was here, too, and it was
>her last day before she moves to Florida & Shannon "loses" her best
>buddy) and he sang, "shake, shake, shake your booby," instead of "shake,
>shake, shake your bootie."  I had to tape over *that* one.  When I
>pointed out what he'd said, he just said, "Oops, I meant to say "booty." 
>Didn't convince me, though. :-)
>I agree completely w/not having a set time for a sex discussion but
>giving them information throughout their lives.  I wish my parents had
>done it, but dad was an alcoholic/manic-depressive so any sex info. he
>gave me was a little lewd, and Mom grew up in a very
>emotionally-restricted household, so I doubt she was told much either.  I
>told Tom I'd handle teaching the kids about sex one day, but I'll admit
>that I'm starting to chicken out.  Lucky I still have a few years to go
>before I have to tell Shannon.  What's the earliest that girls get their
>periods these days?  I know they are attracted to the opposite sex from
>practically their first moment in school (A year or so ago, some kid at
>Shannon's preschool actually kissed Shannon on the lips and Shannon had a
>starry, dreamy look in her eyes when she told me about it!  Scarey!)  And
>I hear some kids are "dating" as early as 6th grade now!  
>P.S.  Last week, Shannon tried on her "dream dress" at a store.  It was
>long (to the floor) and sleeveless and it came w/a little knit sweater.  
>I was amazed at how grown-up she looked in it!  I got an immediate image
>of how my daughter will look as a teenager and it was both glorious and
>scarey.  She looks like she will be stunning and will have to fight off
>the boys, because she has that lovely blond curly hair and such a pretty
>face.  We let her buy the dress w/the intention that she could maybe wear
>it to church or some other special occasion, but not school.  Also, she
>is  now wearing size 8 dresses and (we only looked at Kohl's) it seems
>like the selection for children in that size range is either jeans & tops
>or dresses that look more mature than ones I used to buy her when she was
>a smaller size.  I'm just stunned!  Is it just that I'm not looking in
>the right places or are dresses designed differently when they reach size
>8 or is it just that my little girl is getting older - fast!
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