[MOL] some humor for you from my Hubbard roots-L list/Jean [00715] Medicine On Line

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[MOL] some humor for you from my Hubbard roots-L list/Jean

These are taken from resumes and cover letters that were printed in the
July 21, 1997 issue of Fortune Magazine: The spelling is exactly the way
it appeared in the magazine.

1. "I demand a salary commiserate with my extensive experience."

2. "I have lurnt Word Perfect 6.0 computor and spreadsheet progroms."

3. "Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year."

4. "Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave."

5. "Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial institutions."

6. "Failed bar exam with relatively high grades."

7. "It's best for employers that I not work with people."

8. "Let's meet, so you can 'ooh' and 'aah' over my experience."

9. "You will want me to be Head Honcho in no time."

10. "Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details."

11. "I was working for my mom until she decided to move."

12. "Marital status: single. Unmarried. Unengaged. Uninvolved. No

13. "I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse."

14. "I am loyal to my employer at all costs...Please feel free to
respond to my resume on my office voice mail."

15. "I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely no one and
absolutely nothing."

16. "My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I possess no training
in meterology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage."

17. "I procrastinate, especially when the task is unpleasant."

18. "As indicted, I have over five years of analyzing investments."

20. "Personal interests: donating blood. Fourteen gallons so far."

21. "Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain

22. "Note: Please don't miscontrue my 14 jobs as 'job-hopping'. I have
never quit a job."

23. "Marital status: often. Children: various."

24. "Reason for leaving last job: They insisted that all employees get
to work by 8:45 a.m. every morning. Could not work under those

25. "The company made me a scapegoat, just like my three previous

26. "Finished eighth in my class of ten."

27. "References: None. I've left a path of destruction behind me."

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