ken naehring wrote:
> Sam anonamous..... It was not my intent to point any fingers, but rather
> to commiserate with Barbara about the additional emotions that we deal
> with.... the emotions of our healthcare providers, our business associates,
> our social acquaintances, our loving families and dearest friends. Just
> the fact that you are on here reading this tells me that you do know, love
> and/or careabout someone who is wanting to survive cancer and you want this
> I know that it is not just about me and what I am going through and I
> believe that I have spent the majority of my life caring about others and
> trying to please them and comfort them. It is just that right now I can't
> prioritize them and their feelings, regardless of my past experiences and or
> normal desires would be to do that.
> I actually understand where my husband and my mother are coming from. They
> want to fix me. They can't. They hurt. They want to believe that
> everything will be ok. They don't want to think about it all of the time
> because they can't fix me and it does hurt. Unlike me, there is no real
> form of action that they can find right now to take to help, so they feel
> victimized. You see I am here for support, I am going around seeing
> doctors, I am reading wonderful books, I am having tests done, I am
> analyzing data, I am sharing with my friends who can deal with this, I am
> praying, I am juicing, I am taking vitamins, and I am loving life and
> believing that I can and will survive this. So though this is hard to
> gothrough, I am so involved in it that I am smiling and feeling good about
> all that I am doing.
> My husband is more involved as he is here with me everyday and he is now
> starting to read which is beginning to help him understand all of the things
> that I am doing. My parents and my brother just keep in touch by phone and
> so everytime they talk with me there is another update that they have no
> prepartation in dealing with. I avoid talking with those people that cannot
> be a positive encouragement to me right now and to be honest I am learning
> to turn off my hearing as they give advice and hum a happy little tune in my
> head. It is not that I don't care about them, I do. It is simply that I
> need all my positive energy to deal with this cancer.
> If I have helped you to beging to view this differently, then I thank God
> for that, because whoever it is that you are trying to help through this
> needs your love and unconditional support. If I can help you with anything,
> please let me know. In fact, please stay in touch with this forum, there
> are some wonderful things taking place here.
> May God Bless you and give you wisdom, understanding and guidance.
God, You are good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You have such a strong focused and clear message that I stand in awe.
You are truly a gift to this site and all of us who are struggeling to
keep a positive outlook. I can't tell you how many times I felt guilty
and useless laying in bed while my wife had to take care of me and the
three little kids. I knew that was negative energy and tried to accept
circumstances but one can't help but be emotionally moved by the burden
of others close to you. Care givers have to realize the importance to
thir loved ones of postive support and keeping as many everyday problems
and concerns away from them. It became almost a full time job for me to
block out the negative and stop my type A personality from over-riding.
I learned that it was ok to let some bills pile up and say no to some
requests and people. I am now dealing with the aftermath of that and its
ok. I'm successfully mending bridges and re-establishing my damaged
credit. Once you explain (which I couldn't at the time) people
understand. Again, it all boils down to an attitude of "Don't Sweat the
Small Stuff...and its all small stuff" :=) (a difficult, not impossible,
pill for type A's to swallow). Please keep up the good work and I wish
you and yours a very Happy New Year! (I know that I celebrate every
morning I open my eyes to this beatuful world and all the beauty, life,
and surprises it holds)
God Bless You and all those close to you.
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