Re: [MOL] Sam anonomous [02508] Medicine On Line


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Re: [MOL] Sam anonomous



Sam anonamous.....  It was not my intent to point any fingers, but  rather
to commiserate with Barbara about the additional emotions that we deal
with.... the emotions of  our healthcare providers, our business associates,
our social acquaintances, our loving families and dearest friends.   Just
the fact that you are on here reading this tells me that you do know, love
and/or careabout someone who is wanting to survive cancer and you want this
too.

I know that it is not just about me and what I am going through and I
believe that I have spent the majority of my life caring about others and
trying to please them and comfort them.  It is just that right now I can't
prioritize them and their feelings, regardless of my past experiences and or
normal desires would be to do that.

I actually understand where my husband and my mother are coming from.  They
want to fix me.  They can't.  They hurt.  They want to believe that
everything will be ok.  They don't want to think about it all of the time
because they can't fix me and it does hurt.  Unlike me, there is no real
form of action that they can find right now to take to help, so they feel
victimized.  You see I am here for support, I am going around seeing
doctors, I am reading wonderful books, I am having tests done, I am
analyzing data, I am sharing with my friends who can deal with this, I am
praying, I am juicing, I am taking vitamins, and I am loving life and
believing that I can and will survive this.  So though this is hard to
gothrough, I am so involved in it that I am smiling and feeling good about
all that I am doing.

My husband is more involved as he is here with me everyday and he is now
starting to read which is beginning to help him understand all of the things
that I am doing.  My parents and my brother just keep in touch by phone and
so everytime they talk with me there is another update that they have no
prepartation in dealing with.  I avoid talking with those people that cannot
be a positive encouragement to me right now and to be honest I am learning
to turn off my hearing as they give advice and hum a happy little tune in my
head.  It is not that I don't care about them, I do.  It is simply that I
need all my positive energy to deal with this cancer.

If I have helped you to beging to view this differently, then I thank God
for that, because whoever it is that you are trying to help through this
needs your love and unconditional support.  If I can help you with anything,
please let me know.   In fact, please stay in touch with this forum, there
are some wonderful things taking place here.

 May God Bless you and give you wisdom, understanding and guidance.
......................Carla
-----Original Message-----
From: Bobsomm <Bobsomm@aol.com>
To: mol-cancer@lists.meds.com <mol-cancer@lists.meds.com>
Date: Wednesday, December 31, 1997 8:32 AM
Subject: Re: [MOL] response to Barbara


>31 Dec, 97
>
>Hi Carla
>
>I have been one of those know everything folks and have stupidly hurt
others
>by being so inconsiderate.
>
>Your way of putting it was an eye opener to me.  I shall try to be more
>interested and concerned and less dictatorial to my own family and
associates.
>
>Good luck in your quest and thanks again for the slap on the side of the
head.
>
>Sam Anonamous.
>
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