Re: [MOL] weight loss [02496] Medicine On Line

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Re: [MOL] weight loss

Dear Carla,

So you want to get me started. You may just have made a mistake, because
once I get going on a subject particularly this one about beating cancer
and changing emotions from negative to positive you can't shut me up
because i am just so keyed up on the passion I have to try and touch
others to make them believe as I have and my wife has above the positive
affects or  is it effects in the purpose of living. :) Well, I;ll try
and keep this as short as possible.

Yes, I have kept journals, as a matter of fact, daily journals and all
medical records since her diagnosis 3 plus years ago. I don't know why I
started to do that at that time. Maybe I realized this was not going to
be easy and that it may take a lot of time, but time is what I had
plenty of in order to try and support and be a caregiver. While that
emotion is difficult to understand initially, it is one we all must
believe instead of the many emotions that we incur and experience by
some medical teams and friends and relatives who do not understand that
this disease can be reversed.

Yes, there were and still are moments when I, as caregiver, feel the
stress in the day to day routine of researching, learning, caring for,
doing for. And I try to balance my time with things that are stress less
and therapeutic for me. It may sound selfish, but it is a necessity to
the weight and balance of good healthy beliefs and attitudes. There are
times, when I have to walk away from the computer and the phone calls
from others who are desperately in need and from time to time I do so by
going on a  short vacation with Barb as we will do in mid January and I
am not taking my computer. There are many great, I mean great souls
here, such as the Dianas, Jos, Rons, Johns, Lisas, Rhondas, Carlas, etc
and I know I have not named anywhere near all that fill in the void to
help others just as they need to understand for their own healthy
beliefs and stress free time.  The other is that I have found hobbies
that I love, that while I take the hobby and time for myself, I am near
Barb while i have fun at that hobby. I play classical/flamenco/spanish
guitar and need at least a couple of hours a day for practice. I also am
very deeply involved in the creation of ceramics, which we do at the
house as well. These hobbies and some others, like for exercise we go to
malls and there are many around us and we walk on a treadmill while
watching movies.

So, yes we journalized these and find as a result in the three plus
years of being a caregiver, I seem for the most part to find a balance
of giving and taking for myself so that it keeps me refreshed and
renewed to face each day with the love that I need and that is needed by
others, the people on this list, Barbara and the many that I am pleased
to support locally in our area.

Hope this answers. YOu need to do for yourself in order to be able to be
able to give back. Has to be a balance. If the weight is unbalanced
then  the emotions and thoughts and heart processes become unbalanced as

Now, it may sound easy. It isn't initially. Trying to find a good
balance especially when it includes yourself becomes somewhat trying and
difficult, but is a necessity.  

Take care dear heart and you may wish to journalize as we have in order
to maintain and keep an eye on progress for your loved one and for

Oh, Carla, as for negativity coming from relatives. I had to sit down
with Barbs Mother and some Sisters, as she has 8 Brothers and Sisters,
and tell them that we do not live in 1920's we live in the modern era
where medicine and information is much more advanced. "so in order for
Barbs attitude about living changes, yours must change as well, for her
sake and your emotional needs". I had to be very diplomatic because they
were very negative. "If you feel you can't change or give Barb the
energy for positiveness and hope, then just do not be in contact with
her as often. Once you see her progressing, then you will also progress
in your thought process for positive emtions and changing of
attitudes".  It worked. Sometimes you have to be forthright and to the
point with those that may deter in good healthy beliefs and habits.

God Bless YOu and your family
Marty auslander

ken naehring wrote:
> Marty, you mention that you keep memos.  Did you ever keep journals and or
> have you found a good way to release all the pent up feelings as well as
> document each day and all the new info?  I just did a response to Barbara
> and it seems that family struggles can have a discouraging/negative effect
> on fighting this disease.  Do you have any suggestions for that in your
> memos?   Thank you Marty for being here for me and so many others.  May God
> keep blessing you and Barb........................Carla
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Martin Auslander <>
> To: <>
> Date: Tuesday, December 30, 1997 8:10 AM
> Subject: Re: [MOL] weight loss
> >ken naehring wrote:
> >>
> >> Marty, though I have not been through Chemo and don't know that I will.
> A
> >> good friend of mine with small cell has just completed her chemo and she
> >> attributes the lack of sores in her throat to the fact that she would
> bite
> >> on soft gel vitamin E tablets and let it run down her throat.  It worked
> >> great for her so I thought I would pass it on.     Carla
> >>
> >Dear Carla,
> >
> >thx so much for your message. I will keep your suggestion for my memos
> >to pass on to others that may need that. Thank you so much for the
> >contribution.
> >
> >God Bless YOu and your family and have a happy and healthy new year.
> >
> >Marty and Barb
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