Re: [MOL] reply to Lillian and Walter [02437] Medicine On Line


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Re: [MOL] reply to Lillian and Walter



Dear Lillian and Walter,

Lillian your reply and messager to WAlter touched me deeply. The words
were so compassionate, sincere, and it is near what any mortal could say
without coming from God. In other words it was human perfection.  I
believe we all have asked the same questions when we lose loved ones or
about to lose those we deeply are devoted to. And of course we question
and feel the emotions that surround these questions, because we can't
seem to get the right answers especially when these souls are taken from
us what we feel is too early an age or time when we feel that we need
them the most.  I have heard many answers, such as "it is lifes cycle",
or that "human beings have a mission on earth and they feel their
mission is completed ", or that "God needs them more than we do". There
are many what we perceive to be answers to try and give us hope and
positive beliefs about why they are taken from us. But the fact is we
don't know or can't fathom. We would like to believe that it is for the
best, somehow, but we have been with them for so long in a bond and
friendship and relationship that seems to be everlasting. It is the
everlasting part that is not the fact. Life is not everlasting, but yet
we tend to want to hold onto our Mothers, our Fathers, our loved ones
because they are our security, our comfort, the love they have given
us.  I, like many, would like to believe they will be in a better place,
happier, healthier, not suffering, looking down at us and still
comforting us when we are in need. In fact I do believe that. WAlter, as
far as your Mother or anyone that is still with us, I will tell you,
from the bottom of my heart, you don't let nature take its course, you
just never, ever give up. As long as we have them, we as human beings
also have a duty and a vow to God, just like medics do with their
hepocratic oaths to keep human beings livings as long as they can. As
long as we believe in miracles, then we  as human beings must do what we
can to find ways, conventional and alternative and to keep faith and
HOPE that miracles do occur. I know that for a fact. I have been married
to a miracle for 29 years and counting.  WE just don't know what the
answer is about loss or losing someone, but we do know that as long as
that individual breathes and wants to breathe and live, we must never
give up, spiritually, emotionally, physically to find some means to seek
out that miracle, that method to bring them longer quality life.

Walter, I as a human being just don't know what the answer is about
letting go, I only know that as long as you have her, give her as much
positive energy as you can, even though it hurts you. Besides giving her
comfort, compassion, there must be ways for you to research, other
opinions seek out alternatives, and there are many. HOPE comes in many
forms and maybe this time of the year will be one for your Mother.

God Bless YOu Lillian for your compassionate message to Walter. And God
Bless You Walter for your emotional and spiritual needs and most of all
the strength to pass onto your Mother. WE will certainly pray for your
guidance and her recovery.

Marty Auslander



firefly wrote:
> 
> We are all truly sorry to hear about the condition of your mother.  I
> believe in quality of life.  To keep someone going in pain, or hooked up,
> just is inhumane to me.  I had to loose my mother and then her sister and
> believe me, tho not easy, I promise you'll feel better that you did not
> prolong any suffering.  The baby may keep her hanging in there, us
> grandmothers really have a thing for our grandchildren.  My mother used to
> say to me "God takes a life and gives another life".
> My prayers are with all of you, especially those who must stand by.  Let us
> know how things are going. Lillian
> -----Original Message-----
> From: WALTER ENGDAHL <engdahl@worldnet.att.net>
> To: mol-cancer@lists.meds.com <mol-cancer@lists.meds.com>
> Date: Sunday, December 28, 1997 12:38 AM
> Subject: [MOL] (no subject)
> 
> >Hello out there. I have been going through all of your messages for the
> >past month or so. I am amazed at the strength and stamina maintained by
> >each of you and you families, and I entend my deepest empathy to those
> >going through this journey. I hope your outcomes are nothing but
> >triumphant.
> >
> >My mother has a osteosarcoma in her pelvis. After going through two
> >surgeries and a year of chemo, the tumors are now deemed inoperable and
> >untreatable. I will not give depressing details, but let's just say it's
> >apparent that time is very quickly running out on us. Although my entire
> >family has never lost hope and faith, I am afraid that we have
> >realistically passed the point of a miracle. I want to keep encouraging
> >my mother to try new or alternative treatments (especially since I am
> >four months pregnant with her first grandchild), but I also want her to
> >be happy and comfortable during whatever time she has left. Therefore, I
> >only seek one bit of advice from anyone who has gone or is going through
> >the trauma of watching a loved one quickly fade away: At what point do
> >you just let nature take its course and how do you deal with that?
> >--
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