Dear Manny,
No. The tiredness comes from the chemotherapy and the kind of treatment you
get in the hospital.
You are right. I am lucky to have a good insurance policy, but it cost me
dearly over many years -- I have paid premiums for more than 30 years, and
made only minor claims until recently. If I were not insured, God knows what
would happen to me. I would be one of those who depend on the kindness of
strangers.
This chemo, at least the kind I am getting, really knocks the stuffing out of
you.
When I said "$20,000 a week" I was of course not speaking just about the room.
I was basing it upon my first five weeks, the induction period when you get a
couple of weeks of intensive chemo -- three different chemicals -- and spend
the rest of the time recovering. At the outset of course you have dozens of
tests at the highest technical level. I was scanned, probed, X-rayed, and the
myriad other things they do to you to determine your condition and in
preparation for chemo with no holds barred. Apart from leukemia, I appear to
be in the best of health! I haven't had a cold for years and years.
I have not yet seen any bills for my periods of consolidation. But the bill
for my initial five weeks came to well over $90,000 -- I can't lay my hands on
the actual bill at this moment -- which included a private room, for which I
have already paid the extra except for the days (many of them) when my
oncologist considered privacy essential in view of my dwindling blood count. I
have heard nothing in that regard from the insurance company or the hospital,
and as far as I know they are still talking things over.
So: my treatment has been elaborate, and probably, so far as "conventional"
medicine is concerned, the best around. As a matter of fact, some people
reacted to the $90,000-plus bill with "Is that all? I expected it to be more."
When I first saw it, I was astounded. And in addition, of course, there are
dozens and dozens of "little" bills for a few hundred dollars from doctors
whose names you don't know, radiologists etc., but who get paid by the
insurance company without question, so they must be legit. I should also tell
you that I was admitted to hospital on an emergency basis, after a five-minute
episode when I couldn't stand up. So that bill includes elaborate emergency
examinations, including a brain scan.
I am trying to keep these bills and insurance statements neatly filed
together, but I can tell you that in my now general haze, I dread trying to
pull things together for tax time in April. I have always done my taxes
myself. But this year I have to hand it all over to an accountant who knows
the ropes.
As to my "condition", well, it was discovered by accident when I sought help
from my personal physician for several infections that followed quickly upon
one another. A blood test revealed a white count of 1,300. Actually, apart
from the infections, I felt pretty good, though rather more tired than usual.
A bone marrow biopsy (ouch) revealed that I had acute leukemia (there's a
middle word but it escapes me right now). Do I feel better now than I did
then? Nope. Nor, everyone says, should I expect to. I cannot expect to feel
better until I have run the full course of treatment, which God willing will
end next month, and rested. Then gradually, along with my hair, my well-being
should return. Truth to tell, I think I feel worse after each consolidation,
and pray that it all proves worthwhile in the end.
Thank God I have loved ones who have stood by me, who encourage me in so many
ways. I cannot complain. Had the leukemia not been discovered, I might well be
dead by now. As things stand, my body functions are fine, my lungs are clear,
my heart is strong and healthy (I watched it during this last hospital stay on
one of those echo screens, and heard it too from many angles. I have many
rhythm groups in there. Talk about syncopation!) So the big problem is I'm
just not feeling good.
But I do feel I am in the best of hands, conventional-therapy-wise. I have
also augmented this treatment with the now regular accompaniments, which
you've probably read about. I would also be interested in hearing about any
alternate therapies for leukemia, because, search as I have, I've found
nothing convincing. I have faith, I am optimistic, I am positive, but I am
also pooped. And I have to face the fact that before I started the
consolidation process I was told the chances of success were one in three. One
had to consider the alternative ...
I have vastly over-simplified things, but I hope I've answered your questions,
Manny.
If not, let me know.
It's 10.32 a.m. here in New York. I went for a brief and shakey-feeling walk a
little earlier, and did a wee bit of shopping because at that time of day the
shops are pretty empty round about here. I have started my self-injections of
neupogen, so by Christmas Day my white count should be way up.
All the best
-- Ron
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