Marty:
Thanks so much for the words of encouragement. I am not being negative,
only realistic. You are right; there is a chance of "cure"...5% at best is
what they say. This type of cancer is in the Mesentary, which is basically
the stuff that glues some of your body parts together, so in this particular
kind, there seems to be no way to get all of the cells but we are hoping
that there is no reoccurance of the tumors, of course. We are "hopeful",
Marty.....no matter what. But both of my parents are gone and, as siblings,
we only have one another. Therefore, I feel it's important to be positive
but also realistic. I was quite young when my mother died and had no
knowledge that she'd never be coming home from the hospital again. I don't
intend to be "blind-sided" again. If we were truly giving up hope, we would
not be supporting Bob in Chemo and Radiation treatments....after all, this
surgery was quite traumatic and why put yourself through more if there's no
hope of survival anyway? We will never give up hope.
While I'm on the bandwagon, I'd like to just present an issue......Asbestos.
My brother's type of cancer is rare (150-200 cases a year in the US) and
attributed to Asbestos. He has no knowledge of any exposure. Ever.
However, he was a school teacher for a few years, and that is a possibility.
Anyway, they say this disease can take 10-30 years after exposure to present
itself. I was just told the other day about a local (Omaha) Catholic High
School that has a sign when you enter the school, indicating that "there is
asbestos in this school". Knowing what I know now, I would never consider
sending my child to a school that I was aware had asbestos. In fact,
someone is coming to the house next week to test for asbestos. I know this
sounds a bit paranoid maybe, but think......if you are a smoker and you get
lung cancer, you may think that it was a risk you took (there are warnings),
now when I drink diet coke w/ nutrisweet, I guess I realize I'm exposing
myself to risk of getting cancer. But something like this.....I think it's
different. And, it's not like my mom's breast cancer where she just got
it......this is a disease caused by something environmental that you have no
control over. I find that frightening.
Opinions?
Thanks.
Lisa
At 06:05 AM 12/13/97 -0800, you wrote:
>Lisa Whiting wrote:
>>
>> Shirley:
>>
>> I am very sorry to hear about the challenge your mother (and you) must face.
>> I believe, however, that Marty is right and that you have to not rely too
>> heavily upon those stats; like my brother's Thoracic Surgeon said, "It
>> really doesn't matter what the stats say; if it happens to you, then it's
>> 100%." So true...........But, the VERY most important thing is to stay
>> strong for her. My brother has Mesothelioma, which is an incurable form of
>> cancer, attributed to asbestos. He just underwent a 12 hour MAJOR surgery
>> because the doctors said he would have 7-9 months w/o treatment and possibly
>> up to three years with treatment. Sometimes it's very hard for me, but I
>> know that if I show him how badly I hurt, it will not do either one of us
>> any good; he does NOT need to worry about how I'm handling this.......And,
>> realistically, if you think about it, the more the caregiver shows their
>> pain for the patient's condition, the less they will be allowed to "help"
>> because the patient then feels the caregiver can't handle it. That's not a
>> good thing. For me, the one thing that I keep doing is trying to put things
>> in perspective; like, when my brother's lymph node biopsy came back negative
>> after the surgery, I tried to put things in perspective: "Well, the news is
>> as good as it can possibly get in this particular situation." Instead of
>> dwelling on the time he may or may not have left, the disease itself, etc.
>> Because we cannot change those things. But, again, no matter what....it
>> could be worse.....(sometimes it doesn't feel that way, but it's always
true).
>>
>> I am not trying to tell you how to feel; only what works for me. And, you
>> know what? That time thing.....I think it is more important to the
>> family/friends than the patient; I mean, the selfish side of me wants my
>> brother here forever,
>> no matter what, but I am sure that he would want only as long as he is not
>> burdened with pain and suffering.
>>
>> Take care.
>>
>> Lisa
>>
>>
>Dear, Dear Lisa,
>
>Do you ever get the feeling that we are playing musical chairs here. :)
>YOur message to Shirley is so compassionate and warm and from your heart
>and that is the key to all our messages that we provide and you
>contribution was very forthright and loving.
>
>Lisa, may I add one more thing here. YOu said your Brothers disease was
>or is incurable. I have learned this from a number of great doctors
>that "cancer is a degenerative disease and all degenerative diseases can
>be overcome and beaten. There isn't any known degenerative disease known
>to man that has not been beaten."
>
>Dear Lisa, you may wish to print that one out and show to your Brother
>and it is also a fact. The fact of the matter is no matter what a
>anyone says, unless he/she knows every individual on this earth that has
>beaten or lost to cancer can factually say it is "100%". I am merely
>trying to be positive and factual and provide you and your Brother with
>HOPE, because there are so many miracle stories out there, we just need
>to reach them as Greg Andersons states in his books. His prognosis was
>very similar to you Brothers. That was over 12 years ago and he is well.
>I urge you to read his books "Cancer Conquerors" and 50 Essential Things
>to Do When the Diagnosis is Cancer" and by the way my Barbs prognois was
>very short term......3+ years ago. and she is on her way to recovery.
>So, Lisa don't be angry with me, I am just trying to provide you with
>HOPE as you did with Shirley. Its my way of hugging over the internet.
>:)
>
>God Bless YOu
>marty and Barb
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