Lisa Whiting wrote:
>
> Shirley:
>
> I am very sorry to hear about the challenge your mother (and you) must face.
> I believe, however, that Marty is right and that you have to not rely too
> heavily upon those stats; like my brother's Thoracic Surgeon said, "It
> really doesn't matter what the stats say; if it happens to you, then it's
> 100%." So true...........But, the VERY most important thing is to stay
> strong for her. My brother has Mesothelioma, which is an incurable form of
> cancer, attributed to asbestos. He just underwent a 12 hour MAJOR surgery
> because the doctors said he would have 7-9 months w/o treatment and possibly
> up to three years with treatment. Sometimes it's very hard for me, but I
> know that if I show him how badly I hurt, it will not do either one of us
> any good; he does NOT need to worry about how I'm handling this.......And,
> realistically, if you think about it, the more the caregiver shows their
> pain for the patient's condition, the less they will be allowed to "help"
> because the patient then feels the caregiver can't handle it. That's not a
> good thing. For me, the one thing that I keep doing is trying to put things
> in perspective; like, when my brother's lymph node biopsy came back negative
> after the surgery, I tried to put things in perspective: "Well, the news is
> as good as it can possibly get in this particular situation." Instead of
> dwelling on the time he may or may not have left, the disease itself, etc.
> Because we cannot change those things. But, again, no matter what....it
> could be worse.....(sometimes it doesn't feel that way, but it's always true).
>
> I am not trying to tell you how to feel; only what works for me. And, you
> know what? That time thing.....I think it is more important to the
> family/friends than the patient; I mean, the selfish side of me wants my
> brother here forever,
> no matter what, but I am sure that he would want only as long as he is not
> burdened with pain and suffering.
>
> Take care.
>
> Lisa
>
>
Dear, Dear Lisa,
Do you ever get the feeling that we are playing musical chairs here. :)
YOur message to Shirley is so compassionate and warm and from your heart
and that is the key to all our messages that we provide and you
contribution was very forthright and loving.
Lisa, may I add one more thing here. YOu said your Brothers disease was
or is incurable. I have learned this from a number of great doctors
that "cancer is a degenerative disease and all degenerative diseases can
be overcome and beaten. There isn't any known degenerative disease known
to man that has not been beaten."
Dear Lisa, you may wish to print that one out and show to your Brother
and it is also a fact. The fact of the matter is no matter what a
anyone says, unless he/she knows every individual on this earth that has
beaten or lost to cancer can factually say it is "100%". I am merely
trying to be positive and factual and provide you and your Brother with
HOPE, because there are so many miracle stories out there, we just need
to reach them as Greg Andersons states in his books. His prognosis was
very similar to you Brothers. That was over 12 years ago and he is well.
I urge you to read his books "Cancer Conquerors" and 50 Essential Things
to Do When the Diagnosis is Cancer" and by the way my Barbs prognois was
very short term......3+ years ago. and she is on her way to recovery.
So, Lisa don't be angry with me, I am just trying to provide you with
HOPE as you did with Shirley. Its my way of hugging over the internet.
:)
God Bless YOu
marty and Barb
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