Hi, all.
Today has been a real battle for myself and my family; my brother was
supposed to go in for surgery at 7:30 am and was prepped and ready and had a
dispute with the doctor over an MRI and the doctor told him that without the
MRI, he couldn't tell if he was even an operable candidate. Of course, we
had no clue that there was any question of his candidacy - while he's flown
across the country for the second time (as have family members) and has been
prepped for surgery. A little misleading, I'd say. Anyway, he is
apparently flying home tomorrow - not having the surgery at all. The doctor
had told him before that if he doesn't have the surgery, he has 7 - 9 months
to live, but then again, even with the surgery and chemo and radiation, the
survival rate at the two year mark is said to be only 21% and I haven't read
a positive thing about the quality of life after the surgery.
It is his decision and I cannot do anything but support him. Apparently,
Dr. Sugarbaker is not our personal savior. So, now I feel I must
concentrate on alternative methods of treatment. I am most interested in
medications, diets, trials, etc. used by Mesothelioma patients.
Thanks.
Lisa Whiting
At 07:47 AM 10/23/97 -0700, you wrote:
>So Far I have journeyed or discussed with you the first 9 months of
>Barbs recovery or treatments. Barb was experiencing all the emotions
>that many of you experience or have experienced, denial, fear, anger,
>frustration, hopelessness and others. Barb gave up the first 9 months.
>But, at this time there were a series of events that took place that
>changed all that for the better. May I just summarize. Barbs tumor
>marker was increasing, cancer was progressing, and I along with she felt
>all the emotions. The 7 articles I have written thus far were examples
>of what I was doing to learn, educate, be knowledgable so I could at
>least understand which direction was primary to guide Barb. Barb took no
>part or wanted no part of being reminded or told that she had cancer.
>And as I learned at a very early stage, that was ok.
>
>After 9 months, I was beginning to learn to basic keys for both of us to
>be effective in winning this battle. One was the attitude and will to
>win, the other to overcome toxic stress in our lives. These two factors
>were major keys and a very long process in learning how to do this,
>overcome these factors and turn around all the negativity we felt in
>order to take charge and survive and win.
>
>If I may let me share with you the experiences we gained and learned how
>to overcome stress. I have learned that stress significantly affects
>wellness. HOw can we learn to manage the everyday stress caused by work,
>family and friends that negatively affects our well being?
>
>The problem isn't stress, its toxic stress. This is the anxiety laden
>kind, the overload. It all adds up to behavior that includes difficulty
>making decisions, an inability to think clearly, constant worry, a loss
>of creativity, a lack of sense of humor, and a constant feeling of being
>overwhelmed.
>
>All of the above were a factor in our lifestyle just years prior to
>Barbs diagnosis. As mentioned earlier we were in a very stress related
>business that we owned, and had little to no time for days off, marrital
>relations the way it should be, few friends and just plain constant
>work.
>
>While we can't control all of the circumstances in life, we can
>effectively control all our respsonses to them. When Barb was diagnosed
>we knew we had to at least change.
>
> A-Change the perception of the problem: if you perceive the problem as
>less threatening, you remove the toxicity of stress.
>
> B - Change the perception of yourself: if you perceive you ability to
>handle the problem as significant, the stresses then become less
>intimidating.
>
>If we just stop for a couple of minutes several times a day, close our
>eyes, take two or three deep breaths, exhale, and think "relax", we will
>significantly contribute to the management of toxic stress. there are
>other and many techniques, that you will read from the books that I have
>mentioned in earlier articles and pain management seminars and support
>groups, as we do, by ending our session with a meditation or guided
>imagery from one of the many audio tapes I have accumulated over the
>years.
>
>In Barbs and my case, our business our company was geared down and I
>hired a manager. I know longer was active in the business and all that
>I had heard from others in the support group and psychotherapists at the
>time was told to take away all toxic stress from Barb. That was done.
>Now all she had to do was concentrate on getting well. Yes, that was
>stressful as well, but in my next series of articles I will discusss how
>we did that, how we addressed the positive emotions and attitudes and
>changes necessary to accomplish the "mind over disease".
>
>HOpe these series of articles help
>
>God Bless You All
>Marty and Barb Auslander
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